Women & Money: The Shit We Don't Talk About!
Women & Money: The Shit We Don't Talk About!
From $1,600 to Millionaire Before 40 with Laurie Itkin
What if the key to financial independence and peace of mind was simply knowing where your money goes every month?
In this eye-opening episode, we’re joined by Laurie Itkin, a financial advisor and certified divorce financial analyst (CDFA). She is also the author of the Amazon best-seller, Every Woman Should Know Her Options: Invest Your Way to Financial Empowerment. Investopedia named Ms. Itkin one of the top 100 most influential financial advisors in the country. Laurie’s not just an expert, she’s lived the journey herself, becoming a millionaire before 40 and writing a book about it.
Laurie shares her personal story growing up with a single mom who depended financially on others, and how that shaped her fierce commitment to financial independence. She dives deep into the common financial pitfalls women face, especially around divorce, and why budgeting and investing aren’t just smart, they’re mandatory steps for every woman’s future security.
You’ll get Laurie’s no-nonsense, “cold shower” advice on spending less than you earn, making investing a budget priority, and why even high earners can’t afford to ignore where their money is going. Plus, she breaks down why prenups matter and the financial realities of marriage and divorce across different states.
00:32 The Importance of Prenups in Modern Marriages
01:15 Financial Conversations Before Marriage
02:30 Normalizing Prenups and Financial Transparency
04:58 Introducing Laurie
05:50 Laurie's Background
08:03 The Reality of Financial Independence for Women
14:28 Laurie's Smart Investment at 24
18:07 Understanding Stock Dividends and Covered Calls
18:55 Secrets to Becoming a Millionaire
19:27 The Importance of Budgeting and Investing
20:41 Overcoming the Fear of Investing
22:27 Navigating Divorce Financially
33:26 Defining Financial Freedom
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Maggie: [00:00:00] All right. Surprise, surprise. I've been watching love Is Blind and there's this woman on there who's just like, of course I want a prenup, da da da da. And he's like, okay, sure. And then she mentions that to the family and the whole family's like, sounds like she's one foot out. Sounds like she's not into it.
You know, all this stuff. And like you can see that there's a lot of drama gonna come up with it. And she's just like, what do you mean? Like everybody now just does these, I don't understand why it's so taboo and this family is not having it. They're not having it. They're like, she doesn't wanna get married.
And it's just so funny how that dynamic is really switching, because that's something we talk about all the time here, is how to get a prenup, why it's so important. And so many people I talk to are like, well, I don't really have money, or, you know, blah blah, blah. You gotta get a prenup. I mean, you've got to these days.
And he was talking about his student loan debt that, you know, they were gonna pay off together. And I was like. Okay. She already paid off all hers and now they're gonna wanna get married and take on his debt. And I loved that she talked about this and [00:01:00] just made it so nonchalant and so casual. but I'm excited to see what they're gonna do because people are saying she's one foot out then, which I totally disagree with.
And I think everyone needs a prenup because just in case anything happens, you got that there for security.
Barb: Yes. And one thing that we learned on our podcast is when you do a prenup, that's the time where you have to really expose all of your assets and your liability. So what do you own and what do you owe? and you bring that to the table and you really. Have a robust financial conversation about where you are today with your finances, which I think. So important because I don't think I had those conversations in my first marriage. We did in our second, but live and learn, right?
And like I said, we need to make this whole idea of getting a prenup not so negative. So like you said, one foot out, but making it more of a holistic part of the engagement of being married.
Maggie: I [00:02:00] mean, you've gotta talk about who's gonna be planning to stay home to take care of these children, if anyone is, and how that's gonna be funded. I mean, we need to have that discussion now before we're five years in, and then it's like. Oh, I just assumed that you were gonna quit your job and I just assumed that I was gonna pay the bills.
And you know, these assumptions that are like, Hmm. Just because that's how your family did it does not mean that's how I wanna do it. But we just think from our, previous life that this is just. How it's done, how it's gonna do, and the other person's gonna fall into that place as well. And it's not always like that.
And so it's just, super interesting and I'm so glad that, they're having these conversations, especially on, you know, reality tv, right? It's like, oh, we're not gonna talk about money. But some of these people are like, no, I get this, this is real. We're talking about it. And we need to keep talking about prenups.
Barb: Yeah, and they're kind of normalizing that conversation and bringing it into the fold. And I love how the different reactions around that topic,
Maggie: Mm-hmm.
Barb: it's foreign, because we think prenups, that's for people who have a ton of money, many houses, huge estates, things like that. You know, the [00:03:00] celebrities.
Maggie: and they just don't wanna marry me for money, you know? They're marrying me love. They're not just marrying me for my wealth. So they're signing a prenup.
Barb: Exactly. Exactly. But that's not it, right? It's about really diving into your financial status, where you're at, and again, what kind of debt are you bringing in? What are we gonna be responsible for? Because, like Laurie said, it depends what state you're in. And she works outta California, which means once you get married, everything is in one bucket.
You know, debt, assets, everything. So not true in all states, but in the state that she's working with. And take it from somebody who's navigated over 500 divorces.
Maggie: God. Bless. Couldn't do it.
Barb: That's a lot of wisdom coming to the table. And if she says a prenup is where it's at, no matter what kind of income you have, what kind of assets you own, what kind of inheritance is coming your way, I'd believe her.
Maggie: Yeah. , And my thing was, is like you never know with life [00:04:00] where you might be living when you get divorced, right? Like that doesn't mean you're gonna be in the state you're in now. So you don't know those legal rules of all of a sudden we move to, you know, South Carolina or whatever it is, right?
And so just to have this as protection, whatever happens, Yeah, I'm gonna take Laurie's advice and say, get that prenup because 500 divorces later, I would say she knows what she's talking about.
Barb: Yeah, she's brought such great wisdom, especially how she became a millionaire before she was 40,
Maggie: Let's just dive in.
Gloria Steinem once said, we will never solve the feminization of power until we solve the masculinity of wealth. Barbara Provost and Maggie Nielsen are the team at purse strings that will help you navigate the ins and outs of financial independence so that you can be financially fearless. This is women in money, the shit we don't talk about.
Maggie: Laurie, we are so [00:05:00] excited to have you on the show today. Before we dive in, can you share with our audience a little bit about who you are and what you do?
Laurie: Absolutely. Well, Maggie and Barb, thanks for inviting me today. So I have been a financial advisor and wealth manager, and over the past many years I've focused on divorce financial planning, and divorce financial analysis. I've also written a book about my experience with going from nothing to building wealth about how I became a millionaire before I turned 40.
And I know we're gonna discuss some of those tips today to help inspire and educate other women that they can do the same thing.
Maggie: Yeah. Awesome. We're excited to have you on and kind of dive into some of these things. So just to get started, can you share a little bit about your background and what sparked your passion for helping women with their finances?
Laurie: Look, when I was growing up, my brother and I grew up with a single mom. She'd been divorced twice and she was a teacher, so she was a working single mom. [00:06:00] Teachers make a pretty good income. When I got older, I realized something I thought was normal was really not normal.
My mother received an allowance from her father until the day he died.
Barb: Wow.
Laurie: So my mother was dependent on a man for her financial security and you know, When we're a child, we think this is normal. We think our experience is normal. And as I got older, I realized, wow, why was that the case? Well, it was simple.
My mother chose a career that generated a certain income, but she had a desire to spend more than she earned. Hence the problem. Hence the problem that we have so many women I work with now. When they are going through divorce, they may have been the breadwinner or they may have not been the breadwinner, and there are so many [00:07:00] issues that are layered into both types of clients.
The breadwinner woman and the not breadwinner woman. And it just inspired me to really early on think, you know what? I can't depend on a man for my financial security. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to have children as a young adult. So I thought there's really no reason to rush in and get married.
And I felt the number one thing that I could do is take care of myself, Laurie. Itkin. And while money isn't everything, money really controls this world and it gives you options for what you do. And so I was really motivated. To excel in my career to make money so I could feel financially secure and never be dependent on anyone else.
Barb: So why did your grandfather, her father give her a monthly allowance? Is it because she wanted to spend more or she needed it to foot the bills, or was [00:08:00] he wealthy? And why did that happen? I've never heard that before.
Laurie: I think it's the reality of life and things are only getting more expensive these days, especially in the state in which I work. California is one of the most expensive costs of living. I grew up in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, which is pretty affordable. I think it is simply a reflection of, although my mother worked, she did not work in a career that was enough to cover having two kids.
We were not extravagant. We really weren't. When I look back, there were a couple of things that cost money. I mean, my mom did send me and my brother to summer camps every year. That's expensive. We know people with kids right now know how expensive camps are. And for a couple of years, because the teachers were on strike in Pittsburgh, we went to a private school, couldn't afford to send us to private school.
And also, my mother liked, refurnishing the house buying new clothes, nothing extravagant, but things that you [00:09:00] just can't really afford on a teacher's salary.
Barb: Got
it. '
Maggie: Wow.
Laurie: And this is the message I give to women. I, I know I sound really hard, like a cold shower, and I have to be that way.
People pay me to give them this type of advice because. There are so many women I encounter through the divorce process or people, women contemplating divorce, and they say either, oh, I wanna retire before I'm 65. Oh. Or, oh, I want my dream job. Oh, I wanna start my own business without having any concept.
What it really costs them to breathe every day, what it costs their kids to breathe every day. So this is the most important choice I think a woman can make. What type of life do you want and what are you gonna do to earn the money to support that lifestyle?
Barb: Yeah, we agree with everything you're saying. Women need to know first and foremost, where's your money going? And so often when women say, where do I get started? That's the place that we [00:10:00] always say and, and we have worksheets to help you work through that.
Because if you don't know where you are today, it's hard to really discern. Where it is you can go in the future. So, we like the fact that you're like a cold shower because we need to bring women to the table and have these conversations for the betterment of them. And you know, this more than any of us working with so many women who have gone through divorce.
And it's a struggle, right? Financially after divorce. So how does that shape your views on money and independence as you're working with all of these women? Who are going through divorce and kind of finding the reality of what it's gonna take for them to live independently.
Laurie: Yeah, it's a real challenge, isn't it? And it's scary. It's scary for everybody. It's scary for me too because these women are relying on me. And so not only do I have to be the financial reality check, I need to be a champion. I need to help women feel there's light at the end of the tunnel. Feel they have confidence.
It's so [00:11:00] interesting to me. There are so many women I work with who are high earning professionals. I mean, all the professions you think of that earn high, you know, engineers, doctors, lawyers, you name it, and business people, and they have no confidence about money. They are afraid of budgeting.
They don't wanna know where their money's going. So I appreciate Barb and Maggie, what you are doing in terms of providing worksheets to help women understand where does their money go. So that's the first step in any of these is absolutely understanding and it's not that difficult to get the big nuts.
What do you pay for your mortgage? What is your property tax? What are you paying for car insurance? What's really difficult to budget for are vacations or holy cow, what if my home is 15 years old? What am I gonna need to repair and maintain? How often do I need tires for my car? I don't leave a monthly budget for tires, but every three years I might need to spend a thousand dollars in [00:12:00] tires.
So. That is the most important work I think of any of this, no matter what, where a woman is in anything, single, married, divorced, understanding what it costs her every month, what it costs her children every month,
Maggie: Yeah
Laurie: is power. That knowledge is the most important thing. I can't overemphasize it.
Barb: Yeah, because once you know that you're in a place to make very good financially conscious decisions one way or the other and see where the leaks are, or see where you might be able to do more investing or whatever it might be for your behalf.
Maggie: I always just think it's interesting that no matter how much money you earn, it's like you need to know this, and so many people think, well, if I just earn more, I won't have these problems, these issues, whatever it is. It's like, no, you still need to know where all that money's going. If you're earning 30 K or 300 K or 3 million, like you need to know where it's going.
And so it's just always so interesting that like this is a problem at every income level we see is just [00:13:00] not knowing where your money is going. So it doesn't matter how much you're earning, you've gotta know what's coming in and what's going out.
Laurie: I love your point there, Maggie. That is absolutely right. Isn't that interesting that it doesn't matter? Some people say, I make so much money, I don't need to budget. Well, that's not true because sHIT happens. And you don't know. You cannot take for granted the financial situation you are in.
Again, strong opinion, but I feel that the more wealth you have, the larger responsibility you have to make decisions if you have children, how what you're gonna leave for your children and how that will be managed. I also think wealthy people should engage in philanthro philanthropy.
Not wait till you're dead. I mean, the more money you have, the more you can afford to help others, and I think you have an obligation to manage your money better. I mean, I have a lot of, I'm retiring from wealth management to focus solely on my divorce financial planning business with prenups, postnup divorce, but I have several clients who have inherited money.
And do you [00:14:00] know the sense of dread? They feel like you would think you should feel relieved. You just inherited 1.5 million in an inherited IRA. But the sense of dread and responsibility, 'cause they don't wanna make mistakes, don't want their parent to think, they are not the manager and steward of what this incredible gift that was left to them.
So Maggie, you're right, no matter what level of wealth you have. It's lots of issues.
Maggie: Your story at 24, you invested your small inheritance into Starbucks stocks instead of spending it. And you know what led you to that and how did it kind of impact then your financial journey as that's a you know pretty smart decision to make at 24
Laurie: Thank you. It changed my life, frankly, I did not make much money. Again, I'm 56 years old, so we are talking about over 30 years ago and think at that time I was making 29,000 'cause I had, I changed jobs and I got a $1,600 inheritance from my [00:15:00] grandmother.
Well, back then, I mean, it's a little, was worth a little more then than it is now. still, I mean, and because my, on my father's side, my, with my grandmother, my father's side, they were poor. They lived in co-op city in the Bronx. They did not have any money. And I thought about that $1,600 because at the time when I lived in Washington, DC we had to wear high heels to work.
We wore, skirt suits. Remember those before Hillary Clinton, we didn't wear pants, we wore skirt suits. And we had purses and I was gonna spend that money. And I thought about it and I thought, you know what? This is ridiculous. This is a windfall. I didn't expect this money, so this doesn't just go into my budget.
This should be saved, this should be managed, and I knew that investing my money, I had to start some time and I chose Starbucks stock. Now in re in retrospect, it was a stupid idea to spend my entire $1,600 on one stock, but in those [00:16:00] days you had no internet. I had to read the Wall Street Journal every day to see what the stock prices were doing.
So in retrospect. If somebody today were to receive a $1,600 inheritance, which would probably be the equivalent of $3,000 today, let's say you have so many options. have every online platform. You can do it from your phone. You can buy an ETF exchange traded fund, which is gonna be a diversified basket of stocks.
Do that. Don't just pick one stock. But what I did was I picked the one stock and then. Throughout. I started a process every time I had saved $500 and my checking account went over $500 and I didn't have to pay my bills. I bought another stock and I'd read the Wall Street Journal to see the stocks, and then I would buy a third stock, and before I knew it, I had a portfolio of 10 stocks, so I was diversified.
Barb: Good for you. That's brilliant.
Maggie: And I love how you just jumped in either way. I mean, now retrospect we're like, I made the mistake [00:17:00] here or there, but like the real mistake would've spend all that on money and shoes and on purses and all that stuff, right? And so like we, there's so much hesitancy when it comes to women and money and not wanting to do the wrong thing.
But we have to, we talk about this a lot, is just get off the mark, right? Doing something is better than doing nothing. And so, was this the absolute best way? Maybe not, but like. You are 90% there, right? And so it's about getting that much closer versus like, well I'm not gonna do anything 'cause I don't know what to do, so let's go buy shoes.
As much as shoes are
Laurie: Well, and you will make mistakes. You will have stocks that lose. Did I make money on every stock? Of course not. But when you have a diversified portfolio, think about it. If you have 10 stocks or 20 stocks, let's just make it easy. 10 stocks. If you invest the same amount in each stock and six go up and four go down, hey, guess what?
You're up. So you should have stocks that go down in value. Now, I wanna say something. I am not a fan of [00:18:00] investing in crypto. In fact, I don't call that investing. I do not call that investing. I call that speculation Stocks. Some stocks pay quarterly dividends. We don't have much time on this podcast to go into detail on that, but when you invest in stocks, you are investing for two reasons.
You think that the stock price, you're hoping the stock price will be higher when you sell it than what you paid for it. That's speculation. But you also may invest in stocks that pay quarterly dividends. Every three months you're getting cash in your account. And if you write a covered call, which is the focus of my book, you have a third income stream option premium.
So when I hear people say investing in crypto, no, they're speculating in crypto, absolutely different than what I did.
Barb: But let's talk about your book. Every woman should know her options. It's about financial empowerment, and so what inspired you to write it and what would you say are the key messages for women?
Laurie: People wanted to know how I became a millionaire before I turned 40.
Barb: Yeah, [00:19:00] tell 'em the secret.
Laurie: Barb, I thought everyone did what I did. I mean, I really thought this was, it's two tips here. You spend less than you earn. Number one, again, it's hard with, I had student loans until I was 31.
I was paying student by, back in those days, we'd to write little student loan checks. Okay. With little coupons, little books. I had student loans, so it was very hard the first 10 years of my working career to spend less than I earn, believe me. But the other thing is that not only do you have to spend less than you earn in that budget you were talking about.
You have to make investing part of that budget. That's a bill you pay. That's a bill you pay. I'm sure we've heard all of this. People talk about it in different ways. Pay yourself first yada. It is so true, and if you pay yourself first over time, that will compound, and that's how you become a millionaire before you're 40.
Okay? Let's say you're 50 and listening to this, you still have an opportunity. Now, a million isn't what it was, you know back then, [00:20:00] but. It's two tips. Spend less than you earn and make sure that you have a budget item that every month or every year you're putting money into in your investment. And that could be a retirement plan, it could be a Roth IRA.
Maggie: Yeah, I mean people could already be doing some of this, just with your company match and your 401k and things like that. So even though you're not doing it straight outta your paycheck, you could still be doing it. So you wanna be conscious and not just sell yourself short. But I mean, yeah, in my budget line, it's 80-year-old Maggie, and it has like a little emoji of an old lady next to it.
And every time I'm like, okay, that's who we're funding. It's that future me. Hopefully, I'll be a millionaire before I'm 80. but you know, It's one stop at a time.
Laurie: You are funding your future. You absolutely are. And when women say to me, I don't know anything about investing, that is absolutely untrue. If you have a 401k at work, if you have a TSP if you have a 4 0 3 B, you are an investor. You are an investor, what do you think that stuff is invested in?
You're doing paycheck contributions. Your company or entity may [00:21:00] be matching it, maybe not. It's invested in stocks and bonds and combinations.
Maggie: And so for, women who do say it is scary, investing and things like that, or just weren't taught about money. 'cause none of us are really taught about money in school. How do you break that fear and what are those first steps to kind of feel more confident?
Laurie: Well, if you don't do it, you are gonna run outta money. Your older self is gonna run outta money. So you have to do it. It is no different than you have to pay your rent every month. That is the number one thing. So understanding that this is mandatory, not a choice, is gonna get you halfway there.
And when you understand it's mandatory for your future self, you have a couple of options. You can start investing through your retirement account at work. That's the easiest way to do it, that you don't even feel it. It comes out of your paycheck. If you don't have one at work, you can start a Roth IRA.
You, there's so much information on the [00:22:00] internet now to learn. You can go on any online brokerage or Fidelity, Schwab, they have videos to teach you this. The content you two are or you can work with a financial advisor and get some professional help to get you started. And there's all types of fin financial advisors.
There's the assets under management. There's folks that work with younger people that are monthly. You pay for some assistance and maybe you'll learn and can do it yourself when you grow the confidence.
Barb: Laurie, is it true that you've worked with over 500 divorce cases?
Laurie: Absolutely.
Barb: Wow,
Maggie: experience.
Laurie: what, seven or eight years? Seven or eight
Barb: amazing. So what are the biggest financial mistakes people make in divorce and how can they protect themselves?
Laurie: Well, the bur, the first financial mistake they make is before the divorce is before they're even getting married. They don't enter into a prenup. How many people resist prenups? Now? Prenups are much more prevalent now than they were before. But think about this. If you do [00:23:00] not enter into a prenup, you are entering a prenup.
You're entering into the prenup of the family law statutes in your state. And I will tell you, California's are incredibly complex. So I always say to people, before you get married, you need a conversation with your fiance about are you gonna have children who's gonna stay home to raise the children?
Are you both gonna be working and having childcare? What happens if the marriage doesn't work out? Will there be spousal support? That's number one mistake. The second mistake is not understanding about, at least in California, every state is different, separate versus community property.
Did you know in California that once you get married, I don't care if your spouse is sitting on the couch eating bond bonds. Your income is now your spouse's income. Okay? Assets and debts you acquire during the marriage are both of yours unless you have a prenup or other conditions. So to get married without [00:24:00] understanding the laws in your state is gambling.
Maggie: I know this is kind of a nitty gritty detail, but let's say I get married in Missouri and we move to California and then we decide to get divorced. Is it the California Divorce Rules or the Missouri, because we got married in Missouri.
Laurie: it
will. So every state has a residency requirement, but typically if you've been in California, let's say well over six months, you would be getting divorced in California. Now, there's obviously jurisdictional issues when one of you lives in another state, but the common thing is you might have been in Missouri and then you moved to California.
Now you have a residence in California. You're probably getting divorced under California law. Us.
Maggie: Okay. Okay. Yeah.
Barb: So where do people go to find out what the divorce laws are in their state before they get married?
Laurie: So I think one of the things they should do is actually talk to a family law attorney in their state rather than trying to research some of this, because some of this stuff can be very complicated. And I think what you'll find out when you [00:25:00] talk to an attorney, you can get a consultation.
You'll find out what, how your state defines marital property and separate property. You'll understand what happens to your retirement accounts or investment accounts that you may have. You'll understand if you owned real estate before you got married. You'll understand how child and spousal support is calculated.
So very important before you get married, even if you don't want to have a prenup. I think you should talk to a lawyer 'cause you may want a prenup after you talk to a lawyer. And second of all the exercise of going through a prenup is phenomenal because you and your soon to be spouse must disclose all assets and debts, income and expenses. And even if you don't sign the prenup, you have had that disclosure. And you're gonna learn a lot and you really are going to learn how to communicate about money because nothing's gonna be hidden from day one.
Maggie: And I think that's so important is because it's one of those things we don't talk about, which I [00:26:00] think is so interesting, is like the love of the life or the person you wanna spend your whole life with, yet you still can't talk to them about finances. And so many people we find, do end up going through divorce later.
And a big reason is due to finances. And so, you don't want you wanna know what you're getting into. And so if you can't have these conversations before, maybe it's not the right fit. You know, If there's a lot of fighting, just when we're having these conversations about a prenup, maybe, those are flags that you should be looking at.
Because. Like you said, money's gonna play out in everyday things, especially if somebody decides to stay at home and then, they're cynical because I couldn't work or you work and now you control the money. You need to have those conversations and play out those scenarios. And we know people just kind of avoid that 'cause it's not like the most glamorous thing.
Laurie: Right. Well, it's interesting. I was thinking, you know, the women that I work with who are the breadwinners. Obviously it's important for them to understand what the money situation is 'cause they're bringing in most of the income. But it's even more important I think for the stay at home [00:27:00] parents or part-time workers to know about the money situation because they are dependent on their spouse to earn income and they are dependent.
And when you are dependent on something. And you are in a black hole of knowledge that puts you in a very weak position. So whether you're the breadwinner or you're not the breadwinner, you must understand what's coming into the household, what's going out of the household. And then if you are in the situation where you are getting divorced, you have to think how you're gonna do it.
Even if you are so angry with your spouse. Try mediation if possible. With a good mediator because you're gonna save a lot of money. You're gonna avoid the whole court stuff. And when you go to court, all the issues with discovery, with prepping for expert witnesses, for all the forms, all the stuff, it adds so much money to the divorce, and that is money that could be going to your children's college education.
So think about can you, even if you are [00:28:00] so upset with your spouse, can you at least work? Somewhat cooperatively on the business of divorce.
Barb: I totally agree with that. Yeah. Mediation is, I think, the best first step and work diligently to try to make that happen. I've seen way too many people invest so much money, arguing over simple things. It's a power struggle. It's an emotional struggle. And it's so darn costly. But something you said earlier, I think we need to somehow normalize.
Having a discussion with a family law attorney before getting married. I make that a normal process step in the planning. Just like when you're planning for your wedding and you have all the different people you need to meet with because people look at that as, oh, then you don't trust me, or You must not really be in love with me, or you're saying this really won't work, when really you're trying to solidify and make sure it does work in a way that's fair and equitable moving forward.
Laurie: [00:29:00] Absolutely, and you will avoid so many fights and arguments with your spouse when you have a prenup. I mean, I walked the talk, I insisted my husband sign a prenup when I got married, and we've agreed upon what will be joint expenses. I really raised his daughter full time from when she became age 14. She moved in with, us full time. And we had discussions about how much I would contribute to her college. She's not my blood daughter, but she certainly is my daughter through marriage. And we have joint household expenses, and then we have money we spend on our personal.
I don't complain when he comes home with a new Cadillac and he doesn't complain when I spend $250 getting my hair colored. Amazing.
Barb: right. Love it.
Laurie: So I do wanna add one thing is that when folks are going through a divorce. I do recommend they work with somebody in my profession, the Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, CDFA. There's more and more becoming educated and trained all the time and how we can help, particularly in mediation.
[00:30:00] We can either be a neutral financial analyst while you're going through mediation, or oftentimes women hire me as their advocate, so to give them the confidence to negotiate, to understand. While everything may look like close to 50 50 division on paper, when you think about the after tax impacts, the future and how she's gonna be set up for financial success, she may want to change or propose different divisions of assets.
We also look at child and spousal support and what her cash flow will be if she's paying it. Which many of my clients are paying it yes to their spouses, or if she's receiving it. So another way to reduce costs when you're getting divorced is working with A CDFA because our hourly rate is much lower than the attorney's rates and we can do the financial analysis for you, which will help narrow the scope of what you need legal advice on with your attorney.
So it's a great service. I think it really helped people [00:31:00] divorce holistically.
Maggie: Yeah, we're big proponents of you know, working with someone who has the CDFA as you guys are the experts in finance, and then you get your lawyers or your mediators who's expert in the law, and everyone can kind of stay in their lane because those divisions of assets have a long rippling effect once the divorce is over for better or for worse.
And so you wanna make sure, you know how that's gonna play out and are prepared for that as well, because it can be, You know, a lot of decisions you make in an emotional time and you wanna make sure those decisions are still setting you up for success or at least neutral versus just having a long struggle after that. And so I know women starting from zero after divorce or just never handling their finances. What's the best advice for kind of taking control and building your wealth at that point?
Laurie: Oh boy. I've worked with so many women in that situation. Women who have been married to the, the high income earners, haven't written a check in 30 years, that kind of thing. I, it's been an honor to work with those women. They have been, [00:32:00] students learning, financial literacy from scratch.
I'm never patronizing, I'm never condescending, I'm never putting anyone down. I'm raising up I'm giving support. We're doing it bite-sized pieces and I mean, I'm gonna be in tears because, you know, as I said I'm retiring from wealth management to focus solely on divorce financial planning, and the women that I worked with during their divorce is who I ended up managing their money.
They've told me how much I've just impacted their life. I mean, the work I do impacts people's lives. They were in such fear, in such pain, scared to death, and now you would not believe the metamorphosis in these women.
Barb: Yeah.
Laurie: It's
Barb: for
Laurie: you know, my husband says, why do you work on divorce?
You know, he was divorced. It was horrible for him. Why? I feel like, look, I'm not a social worker. I'm not a therapist. I'm not a nonprofit worker, but with my skills, I'm a math guru and [00:33:00] everything, and I'm finally found a place that I can use my skills to really give and help people enhance their lives.
This is why I do this.
Barb: I love it. That's, it's beautiful and thank you for the work that you do because so many women need the skills that you bring and the advice and the coaching and the cajoling and the cold shower talks, all of that to really get in line and create a beautiful life for themselves. Post-divorce, so that's fantastic.
We do ask each of our guests one question at the end, and we'd love to hear from you on what is your own definition of financial freedom. Laurie?
Laurie: Not having to worry about money.
And let me explain. We have so much in this world to worry about right now, so much. And if you can throw money off your list of worries, you can start focusing on your health, on your family, on making this world a better [00:34:00] place.
And I've achieved that. I no longer have to worry about money. And believe me, there's plenty of things I still worry about.
Maggie: Doesn't mean all worries are gone, but it helps. Well, this has been so much great information, Laurie. We're so glad to have you on here. Have these women have you as a resource because we know you are really impacting these lives and helping women, change their lives and really live, the best next chapter.
So we appreciate you coming on today, sharing your expertise. Links to your books and all your social media will be in the show notes. So everyone can reach out to you and get connected and, use your services if necessary. So thank you again for coming on and sharing your expertise.
Laurie: And I thank you so much Barb and Maggie for everything you do. I just really appreciate everything you're doing for women. Thank you.
Barb: Thank you so much.
Outro: You've been listening to Women Money, the shit we don't talk about. Now it's time to take what you've learned and make bold moves towards financial independence. Stay in the know by joining [00:35:00] our newsletter for exclusive tools, resources, and updates that keep you financially fearless. Head to PurseStrings. co and sign up today. Need a financial professional who gets it? Turn to PurseStrings Curated Directory, your go to resource for financial experts who know how to put you first. Love this episode? Leave us a review and help us empower even more women to own their financial power. Until next time, be financially fearless.
