Wedding Planning? What Actually Matters and What to Skip with Cherry Blossom Weddings & Events

Weddings are beautiful… but wow, they can get expensive fast.

This week, we sat down with the powerhouse duo behind Cherry Blossom Weddings & Events, Owner and Founder Alexandra Pare and Senior Event Designer Alison Golt. With nearly 20 years in the industry and a thriving seven-person team, they’ve seen it all, the magic, the mishaps, and the money traps most couples never see coming.

Alex and Alison walk us through the real behind-the-scenes of wedding planning, from vendor contracts to hidden costs to the small decisions that snowball into a much bigger bill. Their lens is honest, grounded, and so refreshing. If you’ve ever wondered what actually drives the budget or whether DIY really saves money, this conversation is just for you!

We talk about what couples tend to overspend on, how to navigate confusing vendor quotes, and why having a clear budget before you book anything can be a total game changer. Alex and Alison also share their stories from the field including DIY projects gone sideways, floral budgets that would make your eyes pop and the little details couples never know they’ll have to decide on.

Whether you're planning a full wedding weekend or keeping things simple, the wisdom in this episode will help you make smarter choices, protect your budget, and still create a beautiful day you love. If you want a wedding you love without the financial regret later, this one is a must-listen!

For real strategies you can use to cut costs without guilt, join us December 18th for Money Talks: Building Your Smart Wedding Budget. Click here to register for FREE and bring your questions! 

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Transcript

[00:00:00] 

Barb: Weddings, Maggie, one of the biggest expenses some people have in their lives. So important to know where the money's going.

Maggie: Just like anything else, remember there used to be that show where people would decide if they wanna pay for a wedding or pay for a down payment for a home. Do you ever watch that?

Barb: I don't know if I've remember that show, but it's kind of smart.

Maggie: I mean, it shows you how much goes into a wedding. Right? And it's come that big time, especially if you're like your first marriage, you wanna get a house, have kids, all those things. Sometimes I'm like, wow, wedding's a big expense right there.

Barb: Yeah, it's a trade off sometimes, but hey, weddings are beautiful. We were just at a very beautiful wedding. It was amazing. Yeah

Maggie: Would be like your big wedding splurge.

Mine would be the band.

Barb: oh yeah. We love the music, don't we? A really good band is awesome and you know, some people love the food. The food's not that important to me.

Maggie: Yeah, but I went to your wedding, but like, I've never planned my own wedding, but you think you kind of know what goes into it. Flowers, band, location, [00:01:00] dress, but then you dive in and like in this episode that we just recorded. The Chargers, the napkins, the knives, everything.

One time when I worked at, with at a country club, when I was a server there, and I couldn't believe how much they charged just to cut the cake.

Barb: Wow.

Maggie: Oh my God. It was like a, couple hundred bucks to cut the cake. And I was like, they didn't even, they brought their own cake. I don't get it.

Barb: Wow. Yeah, everything has a price tag to it, but

we always say, you know, it's important when you plan a wedding to have a budget, but we always ask, are people budgeting for the rest of their lives. Are they spending as much time on the budget and the money conversations? Together, as they are doing for planning for the wedding.

So your wedding planner's kind of like your equivalent to your financial advisor, right?

Maggie: Really starting off that conversation, making sure everyone's on the same page and making sure that that budget doesn't run away from you 'cause it can easily, easily do that.

Barb: Yeah, but weddings are fun. I love to go to weddings. [00:02:00] Sometimes I cry at weddings, but, I love the flowers, what people have at weddings. I appreciate those.

Maggie: I know you always want to take 'em, which I get. I mean, they're gonna throw 'em out anyways. But yeah, we've been to all different types. There's all different price ranges and a lot to consider. So I'm glad we had Cherry Blossom events on today to really talk about what, to know, what to look for, what we can DiY, what we should say no to, and how to make it a beautiful day and stay on budget.

So with that, let's dive in.

Gloria Steinem once said, we will never solve the feminization of power until we solve the masculinity of wealth. Barbara Provost and Maggie Nielsen are the team at purse strings that will help you navigate the ins and outs of financial independence so that you can be financially fearless. This is women in money, the shit we don't talk about.

Maggie: [00:03:00] Welcome listeners. Today we have another duo, which is so exciting. We have Alex and Alison from Cherry Blossom Events. And so before we dive into this whole conversation around wedding planning, do you guys both wanna give a little introduction of who you are, what you do, and then we're gonna kind of dive into how Cherry Blossom events really got started.

Alex: Sure. First of all, thank you so much for inviting us to be on your podcast. We love your mission of educating all women of all things financially, so congratulations on everything you do. I'm Alex, I started Cherry Blossom Weddings and Events in 2006. It's coming up on 20 years. And Alison joined the team 10 years ago, Alison?

Alison: Yep. 2015.

Barb: Alex, what prompted you to get started with Cherry Blossom and where does the name come from?

Alex: A small backstory. So I went to the Fashion Institute technology for fashion merchandise management. Never actually worked in that industry. I worked at a fashion magazine in the advertising and marketing department, so my career sort of [00:04:00] went marketing and then I found myself when I was engaged in sort of the analytics of digital marketing, which was no longer pretty and creatively as fun as as, sort of fashion. I got married and I had a great wedding. At the end of it though, I was a little confused as to why I got so much pushback. I felt like vendors were taking advantage of me.

Just the expectation of the day and who was running it. Just certain things went wrong. Believe me, we had a great day just not being clear, like spending that much money and not being clear about what we can have, where the money is going. So I just said, I said, gosh, like maybe I could help someone else.

I mean, event design wasn't even a thing back then, really. It was just wedding planning. So I really just wanted to help other women navigate this process. Did a Friends for Free, the next one booked for like $250. And, [00:05:00] and it just, it it grew. And the name came from the Cherry Blossom Trees, which is very iconic in the spring in Washington, DC.

This isn't a knock to anybody, but there's a lot of, like, for example, Alex Perry events, alison Gold events, a lot of those company names, and I knew right outta the gate that I didn't always wanna be the only event planner in my business, and that I wanted a broader name so that, it wasn't expected that I would work on every single event.

So, listen, I was not the girl that ever dreamed of her wedding. Never. Never. So finding myself, you know, 20 years plus a wedding planner is just, it still is very comical to me. So

Barb: I bet you have a lot of stories to tell after doing all those weddings.

Alex: This is why we started our podcast is because we just. Every time Alison and I get on the phone, it's 'cause something happened or we need something, and there's a lesson in it and there's a laugh in it, and there's education [00:06:00] and we wanted to share it because it's, it's empowering. The more you know you can navigate in a better way. 

Maggie: It is so funny, just always like, we have so many financial advisors too, who are like, I was doing, you know, I had my own advisor and then it just, I thought I could do better than they did, and so I'm gonna go do it myself, you know? And it's so funny how that also plays out, like from your wedding day too.

Alison, what brought you into doing event planning or wedding planning?

Alison: Yeah. Funny enough, I also almost started in fashion, so I was in high school and wanted to learn as much as possible about going into fashion. So I was making my own prom dress, I also made my homecoming dress, and a few other things, and my mom helped get me some lessons in sewing. And I found out pretty quickly that I absolutely hate sewing and was like, this is too tedious for me. I'm sitting by myself and I was like, I'm not gonna survive at fashion school if I am having to like sit [00:07:00] behind a sewing machine the whole time and not really interact, and I just wanted my designs to get out there. But that's not how fashion works. You have to work hard to get there.

And I wanted to be there already. So as I was kind of making my prom dress, I was kind of thrusted into this role of planning our prom, and I was like, why am I the one in charge here? But slowly ended up falling in love with it being like the problem solving the, the design, the fun aspect of it.

But it also was still stressful, but I loved it, and wanted to know more. So then I started putting all my energy into trying to figure out how I could be in the event world in general. Fell in love with weddings and so I ended up working for a catering company for free for a couple of months. And then they were like, okay, kid.

You're serious. You want to actually get into this world, so we're gonna hire you as a server. And so I worked [00:08:00] my way up from serving trays and cleaning up messes and being on my feet all day to working in the office and working on orders, and a little bit, very little bit of client interfacing and I just was awestruck.

So, from there I went to go work for a wedding venue in the DC area, and I worked there for three to four years and then got picked up by Alex in 2015. But the funny backstory is that a lot of people don't know that we were friends before that through both of our jobs. So she had worked weddings with her team at the venue that I worked at, and we just slowly always like would go to coffee and hang out.

And then it was funny, she worked my wedding as a gift to me. And I was joking that that was my interview for my job with her, and then she was like, oh, I had no clue you wanted to be a wedding planner. I was like, I thought I was laying it on pretty thick. So I am actually the lead designer [00:09:00] at cherry Blossom now and do all of our luxury, very high-end weddings with very heavy design work.

And we actually have grown to be seven of us now. So for a while, alex had over the years, multiple team members. And then for a while it was just her and I, and then slowly all the way up to 20 25 now, we have seven.

Barb: Wow. Good for you. That's amazing. I would never a million years be able to do what you do. It's amazing.

Alex: You have to have a love for hospitality and patients for dealing with all types of personalities. We've been burned a couple times. You know, I always say, with our clients or anyone listening to your gut is so essential here. We've definitely picked up some clients where there were some red flags, but you want that paycheck and it just, it's a long time to spend

it with a client who you're not having a good time with. You know what I mean? Or where you're just not on the same page. I'm not saying like they're bad or wrong, or, you know, we're hard to [00:10:00] work with. Just sometimes people we're just not on the same page. This, it's not the right fit. So there was one where after three weeks I was like, you know what?

This really isn't working. I'm gonna give you all your money back. Let's just sign a nice little document that says. You know, you're good to go. I'm good to go and go find the right planner. You know, this is too important of a day and it should be really fun and exciting. So you know the right planner's out there for everyone.

Maggie: And so I want to dive into some of like these juicy details that, so like where do you see couples overspending without even realizing it during the planning process, and what are some like shifts they can make to kind of stay on track as a budget can be really important during a wedding and wedding planning.

Alison: So when I'm first on the phone with one of my clients, they're still investigating if they want to work with Cherry Blossom with me personally. So one of the things that I talk to them about is how important the budget is, but that's them calling a planner, right? So you have to think, there are [00:11:00] all different levels of clients.

There are people that are like, we're gonna do it on our own. We love the logistics of it, so we think we can handle it. There are people that don't have the opportunity to work with a planner. We understand that this is a luxury expense sometimes. And then you have the people that are calling planners and

they still aren't fully knowledgeable about everything that can happen or what goes into the process. And I always joke that there's so many little things that I know that a lot of clients are like, I did not realize I had to make a decision about that or that this was going to come up for me to even think about.

And I'm like, that's a lot of planning and that's why we're here. But, mostly it's talking about the budget. And I think that really resonates with people because that is the biggest question mark. I mean, you can have fun all day, every day, coming up with who's gonna be my photographer, what color flowers do I want, and all of that.

But when it comes down to how much am I spending, where's this money getting allocated [00:12:00] between all of the different vendor categories that I could have, it just starts to get really stressful for them. So we really find that like, not reading their contracts, not having conversations with their vendors, and being honest about things because they're worried what that vendor's going to think.

But vendors are people too. And the same thing. If they were shopping for cars or if they were buying a house or working with a financial planner, they're gonna have questions. They're not gonna know what they don't know about those topics. So that's where have those conversations, even if they feel hard.

It's very important, because you could say something that a vendor then goes, oh, well we could do that. But if you didn't ask, you have no clue. Also not talking with your family or those that are a part of the budget to help allot that budget. Where's money going? Who's it coming from? Especially with our clients, it's different every single [00:13:00] time.

The budget amount is different. Sometimes it's a range, sometimes it's a cap. Sometimes it's where there's five different people paying for the wedding. The mother of the bride's gonna pay for the flowers, the grandma wants to contribute to the wedding dress, sometimes it's just the couple paying for it on their own.

So sometimes it's us having to go to them and have those hard conversations of what is your budget and what's important to you. So finding those priorities of what you're looking for, what's most important to you? If you want the best band you could humanly possibly have, then let's put a decent amount of money in that bucket.

You want your food to just come out hot and on time, then cool. We can get you a decent cater. We don't have to go creme de la creme, if that's not what you're looking for.

Alex: Establishing a budget, before you spend anything is just so important. We've had over the years, a handful of leads come in [00:14:00] where they've booked one of our local higher end venues and we're like, great, like we love working there. And they've spent $18,000 on this venue and their total budget is 50 and,

we're like, wow, how could you have already partied with that much money, not understanding the scope of everything. So, it's interesting but like getting that solid budget down and again, having those hard conversations with whoever's contributing.

Barb: I could see it being difficult not knowing what things cost to have a budget. Do they come to you and go, well, I'm not quite sure. Like, I don't know what this costs, and tell us what kind of budgets you work with.

Alison: So yes, people come to us all the time not knowing what their budget is or asking us in the beginning call, is this enough of a budget to do what I wanna do? And that's where it's a tricky question because I kind of make this reference when I'm talking to my clients of like, if you were to take your car to a mechanic [00:15:00] and it's making a funny noise, that mechanic for the most part is not gonna be able to just look at your car and be like, oh, it's this, and know exactly what it's gonna cost, the total amount,

they haven't even put their hands on the car. They haven't test drove it, they haven't done any of that. So it's kind of hard because when people come to us, we don't know what you want your wedding to look like, what's important to you. So if you want, show us a photo. You might not realize you're showing us a photo of $60,000 worth of floral,

We've seen it be higher than that before. I just recently did a wedding where they spent almost $80,000 just in flowers. For your listeners. We are working in a very, high-end luxury market. So we understand that this pricing sometimes even makes my family's eyes pop out of their head.

It sometimes my eyes pop out of my head of being like, okay, we're spending this cool, but it's the money that our clients are wanting to spend and expecting to spend. [00:16:00] But that's where, going back to the mechanic reference, you can sit here and say, I have a hundred thousand dollars budget.

I don't know if your wedding dress is included in this, if you're including other events if you want the highest end photographer you can find because you want the most amazing floral, but then you want a dj and because it's different, every single time a client reaches out to us, it then becomes where we have to sit down with you.

And I know that my budget meetings are a little crazy. And you guys would probably actually like this, that I'm going this in depth with my clients financial planners, but like, it's about a three to four hour meeting where we're diving through every single, single vendor category that we can.

What's important to you? What do you want it? What about it do you want? So like with photography, you would say, I need a photographer. Okay, let's try to dissect. How many hours do you need? That's important because that's one of those things that will get people in trouble later because most [00:17:00] photographers have an eight hour starting package.

But I can't tell you the last time one of my clients touched an eight hour package just because that's the starting point. That's what people think that they need to get. But on average, my clients are getting nine to 12 hours of photography, so that could be anywhere from, you know, 800 to 4,000 plus dollars additional closer to your wedding when you realize, oh no, I need two more hours of coverage for things that are important to me.

But if you had those conversations in the beginning, you've caught that. So now you're being smart. Now you're being strategic about what you're looking to spend. And then the question of what budgets we work in, it ranges because there are seven of us on our team. We all offer different options and price points and stuff so that we can be widely available to a large range of clients in the DC area.

From month of coordination to full [00:18:00] weekend planning, so you could spend, you know, 50,000 if you had, you know, a very small guest count and we did a million dollar wedding and everything in between. So I know that's a large range.

Alex: Usually, we like to sort of say that our service is to sort of work with us. You're gonna probably be starting like around 1200 per person, like for your total event budget with, you know, our fee included, things like that. So people can sort of do the math and, sort of getting, start to get a gauge of if they could work with us or not.

There's a lot of planners in our area that, that are in that sort of range. Because it is funny with clients sometimes they don't want to tell you their budget until I understand your pricing, but we can't give you pricing unless we understand the scope of your event. So we've come up with ways to sort of like, give them a general idea so that they feel safe then telling us, you know, yeah.

Maggie: You're right about. Is it just that day or is it, you know, the event the night before? Is it the cocktails? Then I [00:19:00] know some people do like a, a brunch the next day, so it's like, is that budget literally for this day or is it for the whole weekend? Or, you know, what else is included in that?

Because it can leak out pretty quickly. And so what, like vendor upsell tactics should couples watch out for and how can they kind of protect their budget in this process?

Alex: Well, I will say that this is sort of an interesting question for planners. 'cause if you have a good planner, we are sort of the buffer in between the client and the vendors. So there really shouldn't be any vendors applying pressure to you to buy things that you don't need. So if we have a client that says we have a firm.

Budget of, let's just say a hundred thousand dollars. It's our job to find the vendors that fit in that category and we feel are best for that client. So there's not gonna be a lot of pressure or anything like that. Now, we have also some clients that come to us that are really very design heavy, so their budget is a little bit more fluid, but those are the clients that want to,

They want the wow, right? They want to [00:20:00] see what vendors can do. So I would say this is more, I would think for people who don't have planners and don't know, Alison and I were coming up with a, a few examples earlier and I was just thinking of one other right now. You don't have to pre-buy a wedding album.

That's a decision you can make after the wedding. Alison, what were a few of the other ones we were talking about?

Alison: Yeah, so this isn't necessarily an upsell, but it could be a hidden one. Which is sometimes when we are reaching out to caterers for proposals, these are massive documents and it takes hours and hours for them to create. So yes, if it takes two to three weeks or longer, sometimes in busy season, for people to get even a starting quote of what it would cost to do a wedding with this particular cater.

This is where when we get the documents, we read through it, and then we see at the bottom a small little line, itty bitty with little asterisk next to it that says taxes are not included. [00:21:00] So it's almost an upsell to be like, oh, I'm gonna go with this cater because they're less money, but then the full total isn't even at the bottom.

And I don't think that caterers are meaning it maliciously. I think it's just like they're trying to show you the cost and then, of course it taxes will always be included, but that's what people wanna see. They wanna see the exact total of what they're going to spend and expect that that number.

So if you see, you know, 30,000 for a catering bill, that's what you think you're gonna spend. But then it ends up being, you know, 6% higher or in different places, you know, with different tax percentages. It could be even more or less. So that's kind of one of the things that I was thinking, it's not like really an upsell, but Alex is right.

We're not really seeing those tactics, but it's for clients like walking into a warehouse, whether it's like a rental company where you're looking at your dishes, your flatware, your linens, your napkins, your chairs, [00:22:00] all of that fun stuff. You're walking in going, this is a huge warehouse of wall-to-wall linens and all the things that I could select.

And then you start seeing caterers or like planners or other vendors in the room, especially the rental companies going, oh, well if you like that charger, that's $13 per person, but you didn't know going into the warehouse where you're seeing everything that you only can pick the three plates over here, but everything else is additional.

And it just goes to how your caterer, and I know that this isn't in all areas. This is how it is in dc, Virginia, and Maryland, 'Cause I've worked in New York and I know it's completely different but that's where in this area, caterers use third party rental companies, but it's all on their contract.

Alex: So when we request a catering proposal, we always say, please include upgraded chairs, upgraded linens, and sometimes like throw a $8 allowance for a charger [00:23:00] or something just so that when, I mean, it's really hard to go to these warehouses and not pick out all of the pretty things. So again, like Alison said, I don't think the caterers are necessarily trying to hide all of those costs, but they do wanna book your business. So on that rental line item on your very first proposal, it's probably gonna be a lot lower than what you end up with unless you are really, really firm about your selections.

Alison: But for the most part, most vendors should be itemizing everything on their proposals, especially florists, rental companies, draping companies, production companies, all of those things. Now it's very easy with like. Wedding rings because I've been shopping for wedding rings before and that was very heavy upselling.

So I couldn't imagine what my husband went through when he was picking my engagement ring, but I just went to go pick his ring and my ring, and they were like, oh, well you could do this and you could do this. And I was like, I just want [00:24:00] a simple platinum band. That's all I want. Like, I don't want diamonds, I don't want engraving.

I want it very thin, but durable. And that's all I want. Oh, well, we could put diamonds and what if we did this and this would be this much extra? And I was like, oh, nope, nope. I'm sticking to my guns. This is what I want. So I totally get where upselling can happen, and you just have to be firm. You just have to go in knowing what you want.

And sometimes it's okay. Things change even on the fly. I get it 'cause what if I was like, oh, what if I do just add a diamond to the band? And then they're like, that'll be an extra thousand dollars. Or however much a diamond cost. You know? So that's where it's like, I went in with my guns. I held my ground.

And you just have to remember they are people too, and they're trying to hit a commission or maybe their boss told them that you need to hit a certain sales quota or something. So not every single vendor has that, though. A lot of these are, you know, single business [00:25:00] owners that like, like Alex for example.

So it's like if we're not the right fit, we're not the right fit, and that's how most vendors are going to feel. But when you go dress shopping, ring shopping, those are sometimes like full on like, retail businesses and stuff, I feel like that's a little bit different with a florist.

And of course, you know, there's always good eggs and bad eggs, so you'll have where I'm sure there are vendors out there that are like, just add this hanging floral piece. They'll pull it all together. And you just have to stick with your guns. I think that's what's most important, for people that are listening that just be aware of, that it can be out there, but not every single vendor is out to get you.

Barb: it's amazing what people will spend. We were at a beautiful wedding in the city not too long ago, and the centerpiece, you know, of course I always have to touch, see, are these flowers real? It was gorgeous. Just gorgeous. And my sister-in-law, she's like, I just put on a wedding and I can tell you that Floral arrangement right [00:26:00] there is probably $500, you know?

And I thought, can I take it home with me? I really wanted to take it home with me, 'cause I'm like, they're all over, you know, what are they gonna do with these? But yeah, everything you have to really be sure you're spending on what's your priority. 

Maggie: And I feel like in some of those conversations, you might get a little like, you know, I'm already paying all this money. Maybe I do need that floral arrangement to pull it all together. You know, like it could be very easy to just be like, we're already this far in, like, just throw that on. Because we do want it to be the perfect day.

But it is kind of really holding to your guns and, and knowing that it will probably be enough. And so, I know with Instagram and Pinterest and all these different things, you know, it's hard to get all these weddings picture perfect like they have, and so, which kind of like wedding traditions, you know, really tend to almost just become those budget traps then.

Alison: I love that question. One thing I did want to touch on that Dr. Barb said is, as long as you're not stealing floral before the wedding is [00:27:00] over, for the most part, you can ask, and then for the most part, people would normally do giveaway flowers afterwards, especially like watching the feeding frenzy of all the vendors.

After all the guests have leave, like the caterers and the band or something be like, can I, can I have flowers? And then they end up just like all taking it. So yes, flowers are normally right before they're about to die. So like literally florists have spent all week once they get them. From like shipping and wholesalers and all that stuff, they're forcing them open and basically killing them.

So this is kind of the last leg of them. So they're basically going to die like in the next like day or so. So there's not much you can do with it unless the couple planned to repurpose the flowers for brunch or if the florist had no other things that they were planning on doing with the flowers behind the scenes, for the most part, you could take that arrangement.

Alex: Yeah, sometimes you can't take the vessel, but if you, you don't take them. It's funny, the [00:28:00] catering staff, because they'll move all the florals to like the entryway. And then the ladies are just taking out the blooms that they want, and it's just kind of funny.

Alison: So some traditions that we see that kind of our budget traps a little bit is wedding cake, which is a funny one because I don't think wedding cakes are going anywhere, anytime soon. They're still very popular. They are getting smaller and smaller, but every once in a while you'll see the seven tier cake, which we did like last year or something like that. But I just had a conversation with a couple we're in their three to four hour budget meeting and we're, we're talking over everything and they're like, I guess we'll do cake. And it was like, well, do you, do you want cake? And they're like, well, I don't like cake. And the other one was like, well, I don't like cake either.

And I was like, so why do you want a cake? They're like, for the tradition and they go, so you do not need to get that cake if you do not want it. They are ending up going to do a cake, but we left it on their budget as [00:29:00] like a maybe remove later kind of thing. And you can do that too. You can be booking things and then always put something on the back burner to make that decision later, because especially with like a year plus of planning sometimes, where if you have a shorter turnaround.

You are making decisions on the fly, so definitely cake. Another one is the welcome party. So if we are talking back in like before 2018, no one was doing welcome parties or it it was few far and between. I feel like in recent years it's been this major explosion of everyone feeling like they have to do a welcome party, that they have to have this full, complete wedding weekend, but you don't.

And I feel like there's a lot of pressure there sometimes, and that could, like you have your rehearsal dinner for a small amount of people and then whether your venue can open up to a larger crowd, which sometimes they can't. Then you have to find another venue. [00:30:00] So then that's a brand new food and beverage minimum, which for people that don't know what that is, let's say a venue says, I have a $10,000 food and beverage minimum.

 That does not mean that's what you're spending. You then have to look at their menus, pick your menu. What does that per person cost and what does that add up times your, your guest count. Then you have your service charge, which in DC is 25%.

Barb: Wow.

Alex: I'm like uh, can I let you know if I think you deserve 25%

Barb: I know, right?

Alison: And then you have 6% sales tax on top of that. So 10,000 is not what you're spending. And that also can be a trap too. Especially if you're working at a hotel or a restaurant that you hear that price and you go, great. I can spend 10,000. Cool. Well, no, it might end up being 15 to 17, or anywhere between that, depending on what your menu is, your guest count, and all of those things.

So don't feel like you have to have a welcome [00:31:00] party. A rehearsal dinner and the wedding can be 100% enough, and that also goes to the brunch. I've kind of seen brunches come back full force after a while of like, especially after COVID of people wanting to just be together. But I would say. Now they're starting to like kind of taper off a little bit.

It's not every single wedding anymore that I see people doing brunches and then finally as religious and cultural aspects. Which is a huge price driver. But people know going into the wedding that they want or need those things to fulfill that tradition. But we have people ask us all the time, like, do I need to do this tradition?

For my religion or culture, I'm like, you don't have to if you don't want to make sure you check with your parents first and make sure that they don't want that to happen. But if you have like a barat or if you need a hopa or if you need a Manda or you're having a church ceremony, you're now having to pay for the church, the flowers that go to the church, you're now having [00:32:00] to pay for sometimes the officiant on top of the church.

The organist. Yeah. The cantor, you're then paying for a rabbi or the, the hoppa, which is a four structure pole with a canopy that symbolizes the building of their home together and the four walls of that. And then you have the Manda, which also is a stage and also a canopy and furniture.

And then you have all of the little things like oranges and yogurt and all of the things that need to go on that. And then you need an imam. So it also goes to like all of the things that you might not need outside of like a non-denominational wedding.

Alex: They do. And on a just, I was gonna say a much smaller note of like where you can say just a couple bucks, because again, budgets are all over the place that champagne toast, depending on how many guests you have, that's gonna be like one to two cases of champagne. So, you know, I mean.

It's just another little thing where that's gonna add 500, a thousand to your [00:33:00] catering bill. Do you need it? Is everyone coming into dinner holding a cocktail? Do you have wine service? Is raising a champagne glass important to you or not? So sometimes you're like, no, I don't care. I don't drink Prosecco.

You're like, well, everyone has a glass of wine. Let's just take that off the docket. So, yeah.

Alison: Same thing with specialty cocktails. With that, with those things in mind.

Cause that could be $8 per person.

Maggie: This question I'm excited about because I know a lot of people, they're like, oh, well I'll DIY a couple of these things. I've seen people do cakes, I've seen people do flowers. You know, I've seen people DiY all these different things. And so what is like actually could, you know, save you a couple bucks versus like, just stress and anxiety and not worth it.

Alex: I'll start with this and then we'll get into a few stories. How do you say this without sounding a little sort of snobbish or uppity, but the clients that we work with, they're, they're usually not doing a lot of DIY, but back in the day we did work with a lot of clients that wanted to do DIY and it doesn't mean they're not excited now and don't wanna jump into, so what I recommend, if they're [00:34:00] like, oh, we're gonna make this and we're gonna make this and we're gonna make this, I say,

pick one. And why don't you guys tackle that in the next few weeks and let me know how it goes. You know, If they wanna like wax seal their own, save the dates or whatever it might be, more often than not, we'll get a call after they did it and they said, oh my gosh, that took the entire weekend. I work 60 hours a week and the whole weekend was taken up with like the one DIY

I'm like, right, right, right. So what do we, what are we learning? What are we lending to? Then it's like you don't print your own programs, don't create your own escort cards. The time you're going to take to figure it out, to sample it out. If you are a really crafty person, that might be enjoyable, but there's, there's so much time in it as well.

And we've gotten caught sometimes with not understanding the scope of the event before like a month out, so it's like our month of package. [00:35:00] And Alison had a wedding where she showed up. So month of coordination is really just event management. It's not planning your event, it's coming in, taking all the pieces and coordinating it and taking the lead while Alison showed up and they had an entire room full of setup stuff. I mean, Alison was like, you have to rent a moving company to get it there to unload it. And I still didn't wanna take that. I wanted to let them go, but we did it. She had like four different size candles, chargers for these table, chargers for those.

It was just so much. You know, and then what do you do with all this stuff when it's over? 

Alison: And so I would say, if you wanna do it yourself, I think. There's pros and cons obviously, and a lot of people don't think about all of the logistics behind the scenes, and that's why planners are there. But then also you're hoping if there isn't a planner like available for this wedding or something that a venue or someone is stepping in to help educate the clients on what they might be getting themselves into.

But try keeping it simple. Do a few items and [00:36:00] not things that require large amounts of assembly, because who's doing that for you on the wedding day? If you're not hiring someone to like manage the pieces that you've created, then that kind of defeats the purpose, right? Like you made all this stuff, but then you're having to hire someone.

So then why didn't you just hire a florist who could have did it all for you anyway. But I understand that it could have been very fun. And I think, Alex, you had said something earlier before this podcast that I really liked, which is people feel more connected to the wedding when they might be working on these projects.

And I think that's a beautiful way to look at it. Kind of opened my eyes a little bit more. But it helps knowing that it might be a little bit more special then too, like you feel more connected, it's special and meaningful, especially if like a family member like helped you or made you and you had that time together, like assembling welcome bags.

You're sitting there with your girls, you're laughing, Like you grab some wine and just put on a movie and giggle with your [00:37:00] girls. But what we find for the do it themselves stuff, it's like purchasing large and large and large amounts of candles or like Alex said, chargers or getting your own linens. But when those linens come in from like, I don't know, Amazon or, or another like source or something, when you are buying them, they're not pressed. They're not clean, like you have to clean them all. You have to press them all. And we've been handed dirty linens and napkins on site before,

and then the caterer's like coming to me and going, oh my gosh, every single linen they gave us, like has a stain on it. So like, what are we supposed to do? And I'm like, we have to put them out. Like maybe we can try to put a centerpiece over it or something. And, you might be thinking you're saving money, but it can cause so much more stress. So some of the logistics I wanna get into more of the stress part, which is you have to think about rules at venues. Coming from a venue myself, you have where, what time can you load in? What time can you load out?

Are those very strict [00:38:00] times? Can you load in the day before? Probably not. Most venues are doing multiple events in a weekend. So that's where you can't load in something early. Now if the stars align, which we have had before, we had a client who he's a metal worker and he wanted to build their Chuppah, which again is the a Jewish piece.

And it was beautiful. Like he had a lot of fun making it. It meant more for their ceremony. And the venue actually agreed for them to be able to bring it in and set it up, but it took him more than an hour to set it up. We also then had to like plan in advance, okay, how are we getting this out of here at the end of the night because it has to go.

That's where the florist was nice enough and said that they would take it, but that was really, really nice of that florist. They were not being paid extra to take this Chuppah down which required lots of screwing and stuff like that with screwdrivers and, and it was just like, now that's unpaid work [00:39:00] and labor that they're adding to them on the end of the night, but then they look like heroes to the client, so that might use them again for a birthday party or recommend to their friends.

So it's one of those things where people aren't thinking about. The hours it takes to set something up, who is doing that? Are you gonna have your mom like run around in her dress right before the wedding and putting out centerpieces I mean, when I worked at the venue, I remember watching another planner get boxes, go what's in these boxes, open them on site and go, these are candelabras and none of them are together.

 I watched them sit on the floor screwing all of these candelabras together. And what if they didn't have time to do that? I mean, as a planner, we are on our feet before guests even see us. So sometimes I'm starting at eight or 10 in the morning, sometimes earlier. One time I had to start at 6:00 AM for load in.

We're on our feet until the wedding ends, [00:40:00] which is usually around 11, 12. Then you have to think about the load out. So then I'm usually on site until one, sometimes two, and then by the time we get home it's two or 3:00 AM I sat down one time to stuff food in my mouth with all of the logistics and scope that we have to do.

Now I'm trying to add, putting candelabras together, so, now other parts of your event might be sacrificed because we were setting something else up, or you didn't tell us that there was this large amount of assembly or something like that. But if you also are bringing large items, how are they getting in the space?

Are they up to the, the rules of the venue? Does it have floor protection? Did you bring the right tape to tape out down onto the floor? You might be like, oh, I brought duct tape. No, you're not allowed to use duct tape on the floor. You have to tape with gaff tape. What is gaff tape? Like? It's all those things.

Then it's like, does this fit in the elevator? Do I have to walk it upstairs? So it's just all the things that people aren't thinking [00:41:00] about. But one important thing, and I know I'm talking for a long time, is floral, right? So sometimes that seems like the fun part for people to like, alright, I'm gonna design my own floral arrangements.

I'm gonna, work with my wedding party, we're gonna have a blast. I get that. Putting flower arrangements together is some of my favorite things to do. It's very relaxing and fun, but at the same time, you have to think about where are these being stored, flowers like to be cold, that's why florists have large hands of labor, again, forcing flowers open all the tactics in advance.

They're cutting the leaves off, they're doing all the things. They're prepping the flowers the whole week before your wedding. Then they're arranging them, then they have to keep them chilled and cold. Then they have to bring them over in a truck. But the average person doesn't have that. So it seems easy just to set a centerpiece on a table.

But in the back house it's not. So I find that larger projects are more stressful [00:42:00] than they're probably worth. But if you're doing little things like, wax seals or you want to make your own invitation because you know how to use a letter press. We had a client do that one time and they ended up being gorgeous and she had a blast with it.

Don't put too much on your plate.

Maggie: Yeah, especially, I mean, those flowers, they're right at the end, right? Where like those invitations are many months out, so you have a little bit more time, but that last week, you don't wanna be just booked up doing flower arrangements when people are coming into town and everybody needs you and pulled every direction.

So what's your top money smart tip for couples who want a beautiful wedding without the financial regret later.

Alex: Yeah, for us, I mean, it just sort of goes back to hiring a planner that can save you just so much time, bring you that curated vendor team that's perfect for your wedding, your personality, your budget. We often get phone calls. People are like, I got engaged six months ago.

I've looked at six venues. I'm trying to get married next year. Like this is gonna take [00:43:00] forever. So they've sort of like backed themselves into realizing the value of a planner, just trying to do it on their own. And again, I gave the example earlier, these couples, they work full time and then they've got the weekend, they've got a couple other things they wanna do.

There's just not a lot of time. So hiring a planner will be great. Your priorities don't blow out every vendor. You know, if food is your thing. We've had a couple of clients wanting, like Michelin Star sort of service, like replicating a Michelin star restaurant.

 They're not huge dancing crew, you know, they wanna sit at their tables, they want, so investing a little bit more in the food and maybe the table to court and then going with a dj, not a band. It really just goes back to your priorities and again. Your priorities become very clear once you have set that budget. You know, it's funny 'cause Reddit is now such a huge thing and I was on it the other day and there was a lot of like, people complaining. And this one girl was like, do your due diligence. Like ask for reviews, [00:44:00] ask for references.

Don't just take the vendor's word for it. You don't know what you're doing. And she got really burned. She had a food truck come and, I guess he said he could, you know, get the food out in an hour and she had to order pizzas because there was no food. And then she spent an hour of her wedding arguing with him about the price and what she owed.

 And it was, it sounded like a disaster. And she, she was like. Get reviews, get references, like really map it out. So, you can't fix things after the wedding. You know, we tell clients too, if I get a little red flag, I'm like, we have to talk this through. I can't fix anything after your wedding.

, we can work to get it straight beforehand. So,

Barb: Can I ask you a couple of things and just say in or out, like, are these in or out? So, you talked about the wedding cake, so how about the little almonds that people used to put in the netting? 

Alex: I say out.

Alison: Those are cultural thing. So they're out as a general gift, but they're in [00:45:00] for like the Jordanian almonds, they're in for certain cultures.

Barb: Got it. How about the little takeaways that people at the end of the night give away?

Alison: out

Alex: Yeah, out. 

Barb: Okay. How about the garter? 

Alex: Oh out.

Alison: that's been gone

Alex: Thank God. Thank 

Barb: Yeah. 

Alex: creepy was that

Barb: Right. How about throwing the bouquet?

Alex: Out. For the most part. What was it, two or three years ago, Allie, she had a wedding where it was, it was pre-planned that it was a bouquet toss and then the bride turned around and just handed it to one girl and then her fiance got on his knee and proposed.

They were all for it. And I'm with you. I'm like, maybe not at my wedding, but they were all for it. So it worked. But I don't. Other than that, I don't think I've seen a bouquet toss in a really long time.

Alison: It's very seldom, but I saw one this year, but only one

Barb: how about matching bridesmaid stresses?

Alex: What do you, what would we say? Like 50 50? I mean, we're definitely seeing a huge trend in, different dresses. I just [00:46:00] did a whole style board last night for a client in Charleston, and, and every dress is different. Every single dress is different in shades of green. But we still do some, see some of the standard, like this is the dress.

I think the dress company has have done a good job of one fabric, one color, many different styles. So different body shapes are are comfortable.

Barb: How about the mother or the father dance all that?

Alex: Very end. We do that, but we do tell them, you know, we recommend cutting the song down. So if a song is normally like three and a half minutes, usually a minute and a half is a good comfortable space for the dance and your guests, you know, I mean, you dance all three dances and it's like 10 minutes of everyone just sort of watching, 

Maggie: I feel like the new thing that's in is like the 10 or 11 o'clock snack meal food thing.

Alex: Yep. That's a good one. We have, for a wedding we have, coming up in November, we have mac and cheese bites, fries, and then they, they're doing this [00:47:00] AFA gado station, which is ice cream with boozy espresso, almost like an espresso martini on top of it. So they're very, very excited about that.

Barb: And what about the welcome bags like you mentioned?

Alex: We still see them.

Alison: We still see them and they are somewhat needed. Like if you are doing bus transportation, you need some sort of vessel to inform your guests what time to be in the lobby. And when the bus departs, and I cannot stress that enough because I've been to so many weddings where it's like bus three o'clock and I go, is the bus leaving at three o'clock or should I be there at three o'clock?

So please be very, just picture, everyone's a kindergartner and you have to overexplain things. So what time do we need to be in the lobby? What time does the bus depart that should be in their face on the wedding day in their welcome bag. Otherwise, I don't care if you just put that note in the welcome bag and a water bottle.

But for the most part, I am still seeing people do welcome bags.

Alex: Yeah, and give that welcome note to the concierge [00:48:00] and someone at the front desk too,

just to help out. 

Barb: Great tips.

Maggie: Yeah, I think this has been such a fantastic episode. A lot of great tips, but we do have one final question we always ask, so I'd love if both of you could answer this separately of what is your own definition of financial freedom?

Alex: My definition of financial freedom is, it's sort of like all, all encompassing of your life. So I need, I need flexibility. I have two teen teenagers. I need flexibility. I, you know, with our marriage, there's an agreement with like what I cover and what, what he covers. Being able to make that and work on my own terms.

So this has been a great little company that I've started that, that I feel like also supports other women that have those, I don't say challenges, like a family is beautiful, but we just cannot be nine to five, you know? Absolutely cannot be nine to five. So that flexibility is just really important.

Alison: Yeah, so I have three kids and we're talking about having a fourth. So that is one of those things where we have to be able to pay for [00:49:00] schools and all of the clothes and all of that stuff, but being able to just, you know, live our lives and be able to go do fun things on a weekend. This was my first year of slowing down.

So I actually had weekends available and I've never had that before in the last 10 years which I love. I love being busy, but at the same time it was like, had almost every single weekend, free this summer, and boy did we make sure we filled it. We went all over the place, did every single thing we could, because I don't normally get to do that.

And I think the kids really benefited from that. So just being able to like, treat them and also be able to afford our lifestyle and all of that.

Alex: Mm-hmm. Family vacation's very important for us. We're skiers, so we wanna go out west every year. Yeah, we did have a light summer, which was kind of funny, but we all really enjoyed it and we were all like, maybe we shouldn't book a lot of summer weddings anymore. You know, we're all kind of enjoying it, so.

Maggie: Yeah. And that's the challenge with the wedding [00:50:00] is you're always working on the weekends, right? It's when people have off. So, I appreciate you both coming on and sharing your expertise. What's the best way for people to connect with you and listen to your podcast as well?

Alex: Well our company is Cherry Blossom Weddings and Events. Website is Cherryblosswe.com. Our Instagram handle where you can see all of our work is at @cherryblossomeventsdc. Our podcast is called Weddings Un Scripted, and it's on all of the, the outlets. Again, I think we've done 27, 28 episodes.

So, everything from interviewing florist, caterers, photographers to sometimes just a fun episode about celebrity gossip. I mean, what is Taylor and Travis gonna do? I mean, when they get married, it is going to impact the industry and so we're prepared to, to take a shift on the trends here in a minute.

Maggie: All right. That, yeah, that's gonna be amazing. So yeah, reach out to Alison and Alex and thank you both for coming on today. And until next time, [00:51:00] be financially fearless.

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