Finding Clarity and Confidence Before Life’s Next Chapter with Kristin Crockett

Sometimes the hardest money decisions aren’t about numbers.

They’re about alignment, self worth, and having the courage to stop pretending things are “fine.”

In this episode, we sit down with Kristin Crockett, transformational coach, speaker, and community builder who helps women step fully into their Courageous Destiny. She is the founder of Courageous Destiny and co-founder of Women Supporting Women, where she connects resources, expertise, and relationships so everyone involved truly wins. Kristin works with women building passion-based businesses to double and triple their sales results while remaining deeply authentic and in service to others. Through mindset, identity work, and aligned action, she is known for helping women create meaningful, sustainable success that feels true to who they are.

Kristin shares how she learned to tell the difference between fear based hesitation and an intuitive pause, why overwhelm is often a signal that something is out of alignment, and how people pleasing shows up in business, relationships, and money decisions more than we realize.

We also talk openly about her personal journey. Leaving a high earning corporate career. Building a coaching business from the ground up. Navigating divorce as a mom of triplets. And learning how to release what she can’t control while taking responsibility for what she can. This conversation is real, grounding, and full of perspective shifts that will make you pause and ask better questions about where you’re saying yes, where you’re shrinking, and what it would look like to choose yourself with clarity instead of guilt.

Want to take this conversation one step further? Join us for our next Money Talks, a free 30 minute live session where we’ll tackle “Planning for Divorce (before you mention the D word)”

Click here to register for FREE and bring your questions! 

This episode is supported by Marguerita Cheng, CFP®, RICP®, CDFA®, CEO of Blue Ocean Global Wealth. Marguerita works with women navigating divorce to bring clarity, confidence, and control back into their financial lives. At Blue Ocean Global Wealth, the focus is on helping women understand their options, make informed decisions, and feel empowered about their financial future, especially during moments that feel uncertain or overwhelming. If you’re going through divorce and want support that’s clear, grounded, and centered on your long term wellbeing, you can learn more and connect with Marguerita at www.blueoceanglobalwealth.com and follow her on LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook, and Youtube.

Disclosure:

Securities offered by Registered Representatives and Advisory products and services offered by Investment Advisory Representatives through Private Client Services, member FINRA/SIPC, and a Registered Investment Advisor. Private Client Services and Blue Ocean Global Wealth are unaffiliated entities.

Want to take this conversation one step further? Join us for our next Money Talks, a free 30 minute live session where we’ll dig into a question we hear all the time from women business owners: Budgeting for Businesses to Offer Benefits. Click here to register for FREE and bring your questions! 

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Transcript

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[00:00:00] 

Barb: Maggie, this is probably gonna sound weird since I'm your mother and you've never been divorced and I divorce your dad, but it's never an easy decision, right? And I know that through Purse Strings, you've heard a lot of stories around divorce.

Maggie: Yeah.

Barb: And it's not an easy decision. You know, you see a lot of women feel guilt, shame.

Barb: They feel terrible for their children and what they think they're gonna put them through. And they really have to weigh the consequences, right? Of should I go down this road of staying? You know, is it really that bad? Or should I really take this scary leap and. And leave. Right? And shake up the family.

Barb: Shake up the finances, shake up living situations, everything right. It's difficult. And I think with this conversation that we've had with Kristin, brings up some very interesting insights as to [00:01:00] what brought her to the decision and as a coach, she has some interesting insights as to what are some things to think about, consider and journal on if you're thinking about divorce and how sometimes this, probably many times this decision is best for both people involved and they, they grow and they become better people outside of a relationship that wasn't serving either one of them.

Maggie: Yeah, and I think I've said this before, you know, like, yeah, never been divorced, but being in the kid on the side, you know, it's like you also don't wanna see both of your parents mad or unhappy or mean to each other, you know? And I know Kristin talks about that too, about, you know, what example are you setting?

Maggie: And so sometimes people just stay 'cause they think it's better, but like better. Better for who? Because if if no one's talking and it's tension and it's gross at home, then it's just like, ah, is this better for all of us? You know? Like, I'd rather you just shake it up because this is not fun [00:02:00] to sit in attention.

Barb: Right. Yeah. As difficult as a decision it is Many people go through it, and how can you come out better on the other side in a way that's respectful of one another and in a way that is healthy, right? And kind of the health that comes out of it. Just not your own physical health, your wealth, health, your, you know, community health, just, you know, the health of your children and all of that.

Barb: So I found her. A conversation to be very insightful with lots of really great little tips of things to consider and think about it.

Maggie: Yeah, that good? Self-care. Good. Nice little tips and just real, you know what I mean? No, no fluff, but just real. 'cause it, it can be hard, long days, but I think she gave us a lot of great insights, so I think we should dive in.

Barb: Let's do it.

Gloria Steinem once said, we will never solve the feminization of [00:03:00] power until we solve the masculinity of wealth. Barbara Provost and Maggie Nielsen are the team at purse strings that will help you navigate the ins and outs of financial independence so that you can be financially fearless. This is women in money, the shit we don't talk about.

Maggie: Kristin, we are so excited to have you on Women and Money, the shit we don't talk about today. And so before we dive into all our questions that we have for you, can you first introduce yourself to the audience a little bit about who you are and what you do.

Kristin: Maggie, I'd be honored to do so. I am Kristin Crockett. I am the founder of my company, Courageous Destiny. Courageous Destiny simply put is everything you want in your business and life. I help women entrepreneurs and business owners build a business and life they love. I'm an elite business and life coach.

Kristin: I've been coaching now for [00:04:00] 14 years and am creating community and always like to put people together with really great opportunities and help people live that life they love. I think it's so important.

Barb: Yeah. I love it. And we know each other and I, I know the work that you do and it's really impactful. So can you describe your work and the woman that you most love supporting?

Kristin: I love to connect. When somebody has a purpose in life, something they're really passionate about, I love to help them monetize that into a business. So I don't care if they're a sculptor, I don't care if they want to sell friendship bracelets. It doesn't matter to me. Like if it's something they truly love to do, I love to connect them fully to that difference they can make in the world and then be able to monetize that.

Kristin: And to me, [00:05:00] when we're working in our purpose, we can truly be fulfilled and we can truly live that business in life we love. And I've also found that to be incredibly lucrative because to me then that is the career that you don't need a vacation from, like, and it, I think your business can actually be really healing and fun and exciting and exhilarating.

Maggie: You definitely need that, that passion to drive you. But if you have that passion, I mean, they say if you do what you love, right? You never work a day in your life, which we could talk about that one later. 

Kristin: I worked for a long time in corporate where I wasn't doing what I loved, and then to now be at the contrast of that, it's just amazing and I love to help people do that.

Maggie: And so there is kind of this break and I really wanna dive into this, of how do you help women kind of differentiate between this fear-based hesitation and like an [00:06:00] intuitive pause. Especially 'cause women, we always seem to be going and needing to do more. And so how do we find that, that sweet spot or know that sweet spot.

Kristin: Well, I think when fear is present, there's usually a feeling that goes along with it, that you don't wanna feel like there's discouragement. There is you know, the ego kind of starts going after it, versus I think, and when I mean by it, the ego starts going after it, is that they can get discouraged or they can feel disappointed or just stopped or stuck.

Kristin: Versus where I think that when it's an intuitive pause, it's a reflection. It's coming from a place of my life is already great, but let me see if this will add value.

Barb: Let's talk about that intuitive pause. What does that feel like? Like what do, what would a, how would someone describe what that is and why? What makes them [00:07:00] change? What, what makes something in them change because of that?

Kristin: So to me an intuitive pause is I have, I have a decision to make, right? And so. I wanna be thoughtful about that decision. So I have for myself, for example, I've created this structure that I always weigh a day.

Barb: Oh.

Kristin: and I weigh a day if it's a bigger decision because. You know, sometimes like for me, if I'm not grounded, I can really get wrapped up into the emotion of the whole thing.

Kristin: I'm like, yeah, let's go for it. Or like, I like to say let's grow for it, but then I get to the next day and I'm like, oh my gosh, I didn't consider this, this, and this that's going on next week. Or, I didn't consider this, this, or this. And so I like to give myself space on purpose to be able to make these kinds of decisions

Kristin: 'cause I wanna understand how they impact [00:08:00] other things that I have growing on in my life. say growing on a lot instead of going, I've been replacing it

Barb: I like it. I like it. It's all about growth. 

Kristin: It really is. 

Let's take a quick pause to hear from this week's episode sponsor. Divorce can shake your confidence, not just emotionally, but financially, and in those moments, you deserve a guidance that brings clarity instead of fear. Hi, I'm Marguerita Cheng, certified Financial Planner, retirement income certified professional, certified Divorce Financial Analyst, and CEO of Blue Ocean Global Wealth.

I help women going through divorce gain clarity, confidence, and control over their personal finances so they can make decisions that truly support their future. At Blue Ocean Global Wealth, we focus on financial planning first because accessing competent ethical advice. Should not depend on the size of your investment portfolio.

Every woman [00:09:00] deserves to feel financially confident, empowered, and resilient, especially during a life transition as significant as divorce. Visit blue Ocean global wealth.com to learn more about how financial planning can help you navigate divorce with greater clarity and peace of mind. Now back to our show.

Maggie: It is very like, relatable is, you know, Barb and I have a lot of conversations and ideas and I'm always like, I just need to think on it, you know? And over the day, all these different thoughts come and it's, you know, not even like if it's a yes or a no, but is it like, the best thing right now, or is it something like this but it's tweaked a little bit or just really sitting on it lets you process all those things

Maggie: 'cause sometimes you are so excited about the idea, you just wanna run with it. Where then you need that time for that logic to kind of come in and be like, all right, what does that entail? Is this the best route? Is it the best route right now? Or should I wait, you know, two weeks, six months, whatever it may be?

Maggie: And so I really like how you, you take that day to [00:10:00] sit on it 'cause yeah, that excitement, man. It wraps you up.

Kristin: And I am really good at going with that excitement and getting into a bit of a trouble or getting overextended. And when I get overextended, then I get ungrounded and then I start missing things. And that's, that's never any good for results for anybody. 

Barb: And let's be clear, that often happens with entrepreneurs, right? Because we're always thinking about the next best thing, the next shiny object, the next cool event, whatever it might be. And we're, we hit the ground running. But working with my daughter Maggie, she's very logical and she pulls me back.

Barb: It makes me mad, really mad. But then once we talk it through, I'm like, yeah, you're probably right. 

Kristin: Well, and I think allowing ourselves to be intentional is so important. So for me, my life's purpose, I'm wanting to maximize that. That's when I'm the happiest. That's when I'm the most fulfilled. So I wanna, I wanna really line up with that intention as much as possible. [00:11:00] And sometimes things can look like a really good fit, but then I'm not understanding all the other thing too, is not understanding all the time and the commitment it's gonna take.

Kristin: Sometimes we just say yes to things and then it's like, well, in order for me to do this the real way that I wanna do this. Then I need to be more thoughtful, have more of a consideration on how long it's gonna take me and so, so on and so forth. It's an intuitive pause, but it's also a structured pause on purpose. 

Maggie: There's so many times where we're like, man, that end result would be great, but like how many hours go into making that end result happen? 

Kristin: And does it really maximize it?

Maggie: yeah, so when a woman, you know, begins sensing that something in her life is no longer aligned, what is usually happening beneath the surface.

Kristin: I think when something is not aligned, sometimes it can be really subtle. It can just feel like [00:12:00] unhappiness For me, it could show up like I'm on my pity pot. I start feeling sorry for myself, or I start feeling ungrateful or start feeling overwhelmed is a big word that I hear. You know, when somebody says, I'm overwhelmed, and I'm like, well, what's out of alignment?

Kristin: Like, what are you saying yes to that's too much, or is it somebody else's yes. That you're saying yes to, or is it actually something that you know you really love? And so I think when somebody's out of alignment, it shows up like overwhelm. It shows up like fear, it shows up, like being out of your comfort zone all of those different kinds of things.

Maggie: Can we dive into a little bit more about it's somebody else's, yes.

Maggie: Share more about like kind of what that means and looks like.

Kristin: I always let people know 95% of the way that we think isn't conscious to us. So we're all a little bit in trouble. So we all have like this 5% consciousness and we are [00:13:00] actually made as human beings to forget. It's really easy to fall into, well I don't wanna disappoint so and so or so and so thinks we should do that, or I wanna do this, but maybe, maybe it could really infringe upon so and so and make them feel a certain type of way.

Kristin: So almost falling into people pleasing. And so sometimes we're saying yes unconsciously to things that aren't really our mission, aren't really our purpose. But we don't wanna rock the boat. We don't wanna overturn the apple cart. 

Maggie: Yeah, I could see this a lot in like families and relationships for sure. Especially just when you wanna kind of keep the peace and, you know, not stir the pot. But after a while you're like, I don't know if I want to be here anymore because I'm not me anymore. I'm becoming this person that they want me to be.

Kristin: And I also see it in sales a lot. I see it in sales where people don't wanna ask for the sale or they don't wanna charge a certain amount for the sale [00:14:00] because, you know, they grew up having a certain type of money mindset, and then they don't wanna ask for things and they don't wanna put their selves out there.

Kristin: And that's not even their dialogue, it's just something that they learned. So it can really run pretty deep as far as being able, you know, you know, saying yes to things that don't even relate to what we are up to and what we're about.

Barb: So let's dive in a little bit to your own experience, Kristin, and talk a little bit about what helps you stay connected in your inner voice during a time when things felt uncertain because, let's talk about it. You're a mom of triplets, right? Tell me. I mean, there's, there's no time for uncertainty.

Barb: It's someone realizing they're having three babies at the same time.

Kristin: Grounding for me is key. And by grounding, I mean I have to intentionally slow down [00:15:00] and always be connected to my breath and you know, and be like, I'm okay. I'm okay right now. Like when things get real, 

Kristin: I have to remember who I am. Like, calm down. Like I'm okay. I'm okay.

Kristin: Like that's a big thing of what I do. That and prayer. One thing I've noticed as a mom of triplets, as an entrepreneur, is I only have control over me, even as a mom, like I only have control over me. There's a saying with our kids that God has no grandchildren. And that like that to me is like, everybody has their own journey.

Kristin: And I can't control people, places or things. I only have control over myself. I've trained myself to look for, well, what is my role here? What are the actions that I'm responsible for? And if I do those actions, then it's time for me to release it. 

Kristin: It's time for me to [00:16:00] release it and then let the chips fall where they may,

Kristin: and that's a big part of how I've gotten through with triplets.

Kristin: It's a big part about how I've been able to have a 14 year career in coaching in this whole uncertain, like nothing is certain, 

Kristin:  like day to day. It's not certain.

Barb: It's interesting about the release part 'cause I think that's one thing we don't do. We don't release it. We carry it with us all the time and worry and try to control as much as we can and don't realize that it's out of our control, you know, so much of it. So we worry, you know, we worry a lot and that doesn't get us anywhere for sure.

Barb: So, yeah.

Kristin: There's certain things that I really love to help draw awareness to my clients for and, and to the people I meet. Like something like worry, guilt, shame usually has a feeling in a way it feels in the body. So if you can take that 5% and [00:17:00] identify it, that that's what's happening, you can kind of bring yourself back and go, what is there for me to do if I've done everything there is for me to do?

Kristin: Can I release it? I kind of look at worry. I love that you said worry 'cause it's, it's something so common and I've worked a lot on this. This isn't like something by the way, that I just like picked up and I'm like, I never worry, you know? 'cause I practice. No, I worried all the time 

Kristin: I couldn't sleep.

Kristin: And I would start to practice identifying it and then going, okay, what do I have control over here? Let me take that, those steps, everything else I have to release, you know, and so that, that's, that's, that's definitely a practice of mine and, and they always say replace a habit with a habit. So if it's worry, now I can practice gratitude.

Kristin: I do talk about gratitude a lot because [00:18:00] it's a great way to replace some of those undesired emotions when you are ready. It's not that you don't wanna honor emotions that are happening to you or not reflect on 'em or not handle, like I said, what are those things that I'm responsible for?

Kristin: But as soon as you're ready to stop, I like people to be able to go, okay, well what am I grateful for? What are my blessings? When I look back at some of the times that I was worried the most, most of the time I've been able to get through 'em pretty good eventually. You know, I have actually much more of a track record of being able to do that than I do of completely flopping around and right.

Maggie: I mean, isn't that where they say like, you've already made it through all of your toughest days. And you know, but there is that point, you know, I like how you mentioned, you know, the gratitude, but there is that point where you also have to acknowledge that fear that you have is so often I hear, you know, people of like manifest and positive [00:19:00] thoughts.

Maggie: And so instead of acknowledging the worry, it's just overriding it, trying to like mask in positive thoughts where it's like, no, you do have to kind of acknowledge the worry and you know, sometimes it's like, let let the worry know that you see it, you're acknowledged, you know, and we're gonna kind of move on then.

Maggie: But it, you can't just cover and I'm happy, I'm great. You know, and do and do affirmations and just pretend it's not even there. 'cause that also doesn't help from personal experience.

Kristin: No, eventually it comes back out and then it'll come back out with a vengeance if it's something that we're supposed to work on. So, I think I like to use gratitude in such a way that it can help me through some of the more difficult times, but I also wanna make sure that I address whatever's underlying that's so important.

Kristin: I have a saying in Courageous Destiny, that might sound a little harsh, but it's let the poison rise. So let me see it, let me see it so I can address it. Let me see it, then I can [00:20:00] address it. And once I address it, then as soon as I don't wanna feel that way anymore, or if I wanna say, I'm gonna address this, but I wanna do it later, and right now I've gotta go to work, or I got a speaking engagement, or I got this happening.

Kristin: I wanna be able to have some tools in my belt to be able to transmute that emotion and as something maybe a little bit more positive if I can to keep my energy up.

Maggie: I was at a yoga session and she was, it was a hot yoga session, so she's like, if you need to throw up, you know, and some people laughed and she's like, it's poison leaving the body. Like why keep it in? You've got to let it out. And I was like, so when you say like, guilt, the poison rise, it is kind of like, I, I'm sorry, everyone, it's kind of like reminds me of like, when you throw up, you've gotta get it out, you've gotta get it done, and then you've gotta move on, you know?

Maggie: And so if you keep suppressing it, you're just gonna feel worse for a long time.

Kristin: Absolutely. Absolutely, 

Barb: Great analogy. I get it. [00:21:00] 

Barb: Kind of gross, but I get It 

Barb: So, let's talk about the moment you realized your marriage was ending. And woo,

Barb: let's share what, how you stayed connected instead of abandoning, you know, kind of your own needs or maybe you did abandon your own needs for a while. I don't know.

Kristin: So with my marriage, I had started coaching with my coach and I started from a place where I was actually on antidepressants and I was. I really needed to drop some pounds and I didn't feel too healthy. I had high blood pressure and I started working through a process to raise my self worth, and I loved it so much.

Kristin: I decided to create a career off of it, and I kept evolving and I kept elevating, I couldn't take any kind of complaint [00:22:00] anymore. I couldn't take any kind of, well, we can't do this. The world is ending kind of things. And it was just one day where I'm like, I've had one too many arguments and this isn't helping either one of us.

Kristin: And I remember he was actually asleep. 

Kristin: And I had this moment, I'm like, I can't do this anymore. And I just walked up over there and I just walked upstairs and I woke him up and I said, now's the time. We're gonna be breaking up. You can go back to bed now. And I go, I'm gonna tell the kids. And I walked down and that's something might sound harsh and weird, but I had been trying to move it along for like six months.

Kristin: And finally I'm just like, I have to rip this bandaid. And we just have to get this job done. So, that was the moment that I realized, I'm like, I can't expand anymore and pretend like this is [00:23:00] okay.

Barb: So you

Barb: think the coaching helped you get to that moment?

Kristin: Yeah, it helped me raise myself worth enough to know that I wasn't in the right place anymore. You know, and it's funny because, you know, not to go too into his details, but he has evolved so much since that day. 

Kristin: Like, I mean, I'm glad I did it for, for the both of us. Like I think that we were enabling each other and I think there's a point with the coaching where I just saw that so vividly and I'm like, wow, if things keep going the way they're going.

Kristin: I'm hypocrite because I'm not really living my courageous destiny. I'm shrinking myself to stay in this until maybe the kids are 18 and, and I'm like, do I want my children to have that example of a relationship? Not really. 

Barb: How old were your children at the time? 

Kristin: My children were, I wanna say they were [00:24:00] 11, so,

Kristin: well, it's 2020. We got divorced in 2020.

Kristin: It was the final divorce, but I had told him probably in 2018, so yeah. 

Maggie: And so it kind of seems like, the more you connected to yourself is kind of the way then it was almost like you were abandoning your needs. You did some coaching, and then you were able to connect to yourself to really feel like then this marriage needs to end.

Kristin: I was so clear. You know, 'cause what happens I think is there's so many, so much meaning we can give a divorce or something big like that happening in our lives. And the meaning was, well, how am I gonna, how am I gonna pay for myself and all the kids? How am I gonna do this? How am I gonna do that? And we make meanings.

Kristin: For everything and we can have like 10,000 meanings for one simple act of divorce, you know, and we can also, for me, I remember thinking it's not that [00:25:00] bad. Like it isn't that bad. And, and the day I went to go file. I believe it was the papers for dissolution, I remember going in there and being like, wow, we have eight of the 13 listed here. Eight of the 13 reasons. And I didn't even think it was that bad. 

Barb: Oh, so

Barb: when you said it wasn't that bad, you were thinking your marriage wasn't that bad.

Kristin: Yeah, because we get into a habit of putting up with things that don't line up with us. It's familiar and it almost becomes a comfort zone. You know, survival mode for many people can become a comfort zone. Things that we don't want can become a comfort zone.

Kristin: And for me, my marriage had become a comfort zone and not the kind that you want. it was a very uncomfortable living in.

Barb: Yeah, but it's like the devil that you know, right?

Kristin: Exactly, because that's was this illusion of certainty to kind of bring [00:26:00] it full circle when you were talking about certainty earlier, like I think that nothing is certain.

Kristin: Nothing is certain, except for right in this moment, I have the ability to breathe and, and to create something.

Kristin: If I choose, you know, that's what's certain. I remember my coach saying to me, I go, gosh, 'cause I left a $400,000 career to become a coach and I had one, $200 client and you wanna talk about scary? I was like, oh my gosh. Many people would call that crazy. 

Kristin: But yeah, it's, it was, it was very, very scary.

Kristin: But I go, how do I do this? I know it's my time. And he said, when something really fearful comes up, embrace the fear instead of pushing it away like it's a friend, 

Kristin: get to know it and move past it, And that's what I started doing. And I'm like, well, is it a good? And I [00:27:00] believed that I was here to be a coach and help people raise their self-worth.

Kristin: So I believe that, that's what God wanted me to do. And I'm like, who am I to say no to that? And I'm like, oh my gosh, it's gonna be so uncomfortable. Because I did that, that's why I can coach people through this today. I didn't know it at the time. I didn't really believe my mentor for some reason when they would say things like, you know, you've gotta walk the talk and that's gonna be your way and your pathway to be an excellent coach.

Kristin: And I'm like, okay, but I didn't realize it was gonna be, I have to really walk the talk and it was gonna happen one way or another, 

Maggie: So was there any kind of quiet preparation that you were doing?

Kristin: oh, yes. One of the things was I got sober. One of the issues that I had had was there was an overactive, we'll just say an [00:28:00] overactive use of alcohol and I got sober. I wanted to make sure that I mean, what a hypocrite would I be if like, Hey, you shouldn't do that while I'm, you know, tipping back a few, you know, that never felt good.

Kristin: So I definitely that was a big part of what I did. I also did a lot of journaling. A lot of journaling. Like I got to know myself. One of the ways and tools that I used to get to know myself was asking myself questions in journaling, asking myself questions that my coach would tell me to ask.

Kristin: Books. I mean, it took me a good solid two years before I even got the nerve to ask for the divorce. I mean, it was a long time preparing and it was necessary because I mean, I really, really loved him. You know, I still do, a part of me always will, but I really loved him and [00:29:00] I didn't understand at the time that how sick of a couple we were.

Kristin: Because if you look around, really, we just matched up with everybody else. Like there was no, you know, not to say that there's bad couples all over the place, but I mean, it wasn't like there was anything different from what we would see, at least in our, our group. So.

Barb: It is just, it's fascinating to me that when you get coaching, and I think this happens a lot, you start seeing your world in a clear view, right? Like somebody wipes the glass off for you and says, look, look, this isn't really a. How it should be, you know, this is not normalcy or you're saying, I want something better and different.

Barb: I don't know what it is, but something's not right here. Like you've sensed it, you know? It's, it's different for everyone of course. But the coaching did seems like it really helped you realize with your own self-worth that [00:30:00] you needed, you could do more.

Kristin: Oh, absolutely. I mean, the coaching added consciousness and awareness to why I operated the way I operated. In the first three months of coaching, I had tripled my sales. I had been off of all of the, all of the antidepressants. I had lost my first 30 pounds, and I learned how to get outta my own way in many ways, that there were beliefs that I had had about who I was and the way the world worked.

Kristin: That didn't move me forward toward the things that I want. And that happens a lot in life. We don't, we don't take a inventory of our belief system in our life on an ordinary basis. 

Kristin: And that's something very difficult to do by yourself too, because it's like trying to look in a mirror on how you look before you go out on a date, but the mirror's like pressed up against your nose, you know, it's very hard to [00:31:00] see, you know, those kind of blind spots.

Maggie: And so what kind of coach did you hire? Because I know we hear about divorce coaches, we've talked about business coaches. I know there's just life coaches. There's also people turn to a therapist. So what kind of coach did you get? 'cause they seem to help you, you know, all around the board, which is really great. 

Kristin: I hired a deserve level coach, and that was what his technology was. You get in life what your unconscious mind believes you deserve.

Kristin: Similar to NLP, similar to some of those technologies, but he had his own methodology and way to help people through and get past their, their egos, and to be able to expand their awareness enough to be able to see where they were stepping out of alignment with their thoughts and their actions. And he was extraordinary. He was doing it for years and years and years and years.

Maggie: Yeah. That's great 'cause I know there's, there's a thousand different coaches out there and there's a lot of different people who, who. Take [00:32:00] that title. But it's hard kind of figuring out who's the best fit for you and, and making that investment. But I mean, if you already tripled your sales in, in the couple months, you know, I mean, that's already a great investment in itself.

Maggie: Much less, you know, health and finding out who you are, which is of course is priceless. But it's, you know, really great that you had. Yeah. Such a great coach in your corner.

Kristin: Oh, he was fantastic. And the other thing is, is that when you, I can give you a blueprint today, I tell this to many people in sales, right? I'll give you a blueprint, I'll tell you exactly what actions to take in order to move your business to the next level. But you're not gonna do 'em.

Kristin: And you're gonna do, maybe you'll do some of 'em, but you're not gonna do 'em all.

Kristin: You're gonna wanna do it your own way. And so to really get into the core of who you are, to me, is essential for true transformation. So, you know, you can get different results for a time, but with the work that I do, I like to have lasting results for life. Like you are actually empowering [00:33:00] yourself to create a version of yourself that has the things that you want.

Kristin: And it's not the easy way. It's not easy, you know, it can be very emotional work. It can be very deep. That's why I call it courageous destiny. Try to give it a little bit of fun 

Kristin: because it's not always fun. It's not always fun, but it's very effective. And it's very effective for lasting change and to truly sustain a new life. 

Maggie: So I kind of wanna swing back around then to like your divorce and your journaling and all of those different things. You know, before involving lawyers, advisors, or even close friends. Like what are, you know, two or three questions you believe every woman should ask, you know, herself first, and maybe even sit down and journal about.

Kristin: I think a question, a very simple question is, is this easy for me? Does it give me energy? Is a really big question to ask yourself because [00:34:00] so many times we're actually exhausted and we don't know why. You know? And our exhaustion is usually a clue that something's out of alignment. So I would say that does it make me happy? Right. Is this person adding? And the third one would be, is this person adding value to my life? Because what I learned the hard way is you can love somebody. You can love 'em with all your heart, but if your values don't line up, it might not work right? Because you could lose respect and respect is really important. 

Barb: Yeah. Interesting. You know, divorce is hard. It's scary. You know, a lot of times women don't wanna talk about it 'cause they feel ashamed for even thinking about divorce. But divorce happens. I think we owe ourselves the opportunity to be happy and to be healthy and to be sane. What would you say, what would you want her to [00:35:00] know right now, this woman who's considering it, but feeling all these kind of negative feelings about herself for even thinking this. 

Kristin: Well, I would love to tell her to consider that she was one of her girlfriends and what kind of grace would she give one of her girlfriends for having these thoughts? I think that's really important because to make decisions from really high emotions is very difficult to do gracefully because

Kristin: the word gracefully again.

Kristin: And I think I would, I would, I would tell her that. You know, she's not alone and look for other resources and talk to her friends that have gotten divorces talk to, you know, talk it out with trusted companions and friends, because I think that that's really helpful. I talk to many of my girlfriends before I [00:36:00] actually went through with it.

Kristin: And I had a feel in integrity with myself, like this was the right decision. I wanted to make sure that it was gonna be the right decision. I had triplets, you know, there's a saying that, you wanna be there for your kids, right? And you want 'em to have this certain kind of family, but then they get the example of bitterness and anger and resentment.

Kristin: And what kind of toll is that taking on them? I think those are all really important things to consider. It's, it's, yeah, it can be embarrassing getting a divorce in today's society, but the toll that it would take on you to stay together if it's not a happy household and the example that you're setting for your kids, who they're learning how to have a relationship from. 

Maggie: Yeah, it's really leading by example and treating yourself how you treat others almost. 

Barb: Yeah, it is a big decision and you know, it impacts your [00:37:00] children deeply, but it does the other way too. Staying in the marriage impacts them just as deeply, maybe even more harmfully, you know, but also knowing that there's the other side of divorce where people, like you said, with you and your husband, happier, healthier.

Barb: You both have grown.

Kristin: Yeah, he's even tan. I kinda make fun of him now. I was like, he's gonna the health club every day. I ran into him at the health club. I'm like. Who are you? 

Kristin: He is doing great now and, and that's so nice to see. And I prayed for that for so many years to see him happy and to see him healthy.

Kristin: And I think the other thing that I think is so important is that you can still love somebody and release them.

Kristin: You don't have to hate them, you don't have to get ugly thoughts and things like that. You know, one of my favorite sayings is 'I'm gonna send them blessings and I am going to [00:38:00] change me' 'cause I had a role in that too. And to really take responsibility for my role in the demise of our marriage was really critical.

Kristin: Even if it was just staying, like that's, that's partially my role too.

Maggie: Yeah, this has been a lot of great information and it, it's exciting to kind of see where your journey has gone and how, you know, just this starting some coaching sessions really has kind of changed the trajectory, changed the job, changed, you know, the relationship and all these different things. And so we appreciate you kind of coming on and sharing that with us.

Maggie: Just kind of share a bit of your journey and so there is a question we do like to ask. Everyone who's a guest on our show and that is what is your own definition of financial freedom? 

Kristin: Oh, that's a good one. My definition of financial freedom is that [00:39:00] everything is just handled. You know, I've got plenty of zeros in the bank account. I have money to invest. I have all of my bills are like on auto payment and there's like never a thought about I gonna, right? I can have any subscription I want. 

Kristin: And it's also having the knowledge of what, how money works, 

Kristin: you know, and being empowered that way.

Kristin: So that would be my definition of financial freedom. 

Barb: Sneezed on the truth.

Kristin: Yeah.

Barb: Truth. Well, this has been fantastic. I appreciate you so much sharing your journey and delving into all the pieces and parts of your reason for divorce, your coaching, you know, your children, all of that. And, you know, life is hard, right? Like you said, you left a [00:40:00] $400,000 career to really be courageous and live your destiny. See what I did there. 

Kristin: I love that. 

Barb: yeah, and sharing your, your story is powerful, so I appreciate you Kristin. And thank you for coming on our pod today and sharing with our audience.

Maggie: Well, thank you everyone for tuning in and we'll be back again next week. Until then, be financially fearless. 

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