Practice Generosity Without Hurting Your Finances with Alison Patterson

Giving shouldn’t feel confusing, overwhelming, or guilt-driven.

In this episode, we sit down with Alison Patterson, the founder of Patterson Philanthropic Advisors and the creator of Generosity Architecture, a strategic framework that helps individuals, families, and advisors design giving that is clear, confident, and aligned with their values..

We dive into how to give with intention, how to stop saying yes out of guilt, and how to align your money with what actually matters most to you.

You’ll hear how generosity evolves through every stage of life, why you don’t need a lot of money to make an impact, and how to build a giving strategy that feels empowering, not draining.

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by all the asks, unsure where your money should go, or guilty for saying no, this conversation will completely shift how you think about giving.

If this conversation sparked something for you, take the next step and join us for next week’s Money Talks, Creating A Giving Strategy That Aligns With Your Finances. Click here to register for FREE and bring your questions!  

Follow & connect with Alison Patterson:

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• Instagram: @letsgogiveyall 
• LinkedIn 

Want to take this conversation one step further? Join us for our next Money Talks, a free 30 minute live session where we’ll dig into a question we hear all the time from women business owners: Budgeting for Businesses to Offer Benefits. Click here to register for FREE and bring your questions! 

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Transcript

Dr. Barb: [00:00:00] Well, Maggie, you know, it's so interesting this conversation we've had with Allison around giving, and what I find is that so often people think, well, if I'm building a financial plan and then I'm building in giving is because I have millions and millions of dollars, right?

Dr. Barb: Not true. Not true at all. it can be as much as $10 a month, $20 a month. It's just putting a plan together of whatever it is that's on your heart or your focus or something you're very passionate about, something that you wanna see continued and you wanna give some of your hard earned monies to.

Dr. Barb: Little big, it doesn't matter and it can change over time. And it was a refreshing conversation because it kind of flattened the playing field, right? It's not just about all the people that have money dripping out of their pockets.

Maggie: Well, and the thing I always hear Allison say, it's like, what kind of resource do you have right now? Because sometimes it is just time, [00:01:00] you know, sometimes it's volunteer hours, sometimes it is money. And so I always appreciate that because there's, money's great, don't get you wrong, but there's also always needs to be boots on the ground.

Maggie: And so sometimes when you, I mean, for a lot of my life, like I haven't had. You know, the big bucks to donate. But like I know during COVID, not to humble brag, but I got in a hundred hours one year of volunteering at the food pantry. You know, like I couldn't do that in money, but I was like, let's get some volunteer time in there.

Maggie: And so it's not always about money, but it can be, and you can really work with your advisor as well to make that plan tax efficient, whatever the financial advisor does to make 'em like best bang for the buck. 

Dr. Barb: And there's a lot of strategies that can be put in place working with the right financial advisor like Allison to really figure out, you know, what can I do to, to do my fair share? And it's about community, right? It's about helping your neighbors, helping your community, helping a mission that's important to you on a regular and ongoing basis.

Dr. Barb: 'cause so [00:02:00] many of those. People, entities, whatever, need help. Right. And I think that's what makes the world go round is by lending a hand, lending a buck, you know, making sure these institutions that you care for, people who are doing hard work for a great cause are being paid. And that, you know, that work can go on and can continue just if you make just a small and ongoing donation or a large donation, whatever it is you're able to do.

Dr. Barb: But we also talked about the fact that you can say no.

Maggie: No. I feel like your little spiel right there is like, whenever I listen to the podcast, they're like, and subscribe with a monthly donation. Maybe it's only 'cause I'm listening to NPR, there's just so many outlets that have you coming and going, so it's about aligning it with your values and once you have your values down, then it's okay to say no or yes or I think my favorite line is there is how saying having your yeses and having your shoulds and knowing the difference.

Maggie: So. Let's just dive into it.

[00:03:00] Gloria Steinem once said, we will never solve the feminization of power until we solve the masculinity of wealth. Barbara Provost and Maggie Nielsen are the team at purse strings that will help you navigate the ins and outs of financial independence so that you can be financially fearless. This is women in money, the shit we don't talk about.

Maggie: Today on our show we have Alison Patterson. And when I heard about what she did I was like, she needs to be on the podcast. 'cause not only does she talk to advisors, but she talks to women. She's also a teacher at Stanford. And so, so many great things. So before we dive in, Alison, can you share a little bit about who you are and what you do?

Alison: Yes, absolutely. Thank you both for having me on. And you know it's funny when you said, when you heard what I do, it's like a cocktail party trick almost. Because I, you know, [00:04:00] I'll say I'm a philanthropic advisor, and people are like, oh, you work with nonprofits? Well, no, actually I don't. Oh, you must work with super rich folks.

Alison: Well, actually, you know, no, that's not exactly what I do. And then their next reaction is like, well, is that really a job?

Alison: I mean, you said it, I work alongside financial advisors and wealth managers and with clients kinda behind the scenes to help them implement philanthropic strategy.

Alison: Right. Because what I believe is that we are all naturally generous humans and that most clients don't have a generosity problem. They just have a structure problem And it's the moment when they realize that they handle their giving strategy different because everybody kind of assumes their accountant is talking about it or their attorney or their wealth [00:05:00] advisor.

Alison: And I kind of do what everybody else people assume that everybody else is doing right, like, oh, this person is doing this part of it, this per, and there's nobody who's really touching it all.

Maggie: Yeah. And so tell us, like you said, it's not, you know, major, major high net worth clients. So what kind of net worth are we working with? I mean, can this just be your average, Jill and Jane, or what kind of income are we talking here?

Alison: You know, it's interesting. I don't look at just income. I try and help people look at the resources that they have and because we all have different resources at different times of our lives. And what we don't often have is a permission to sort of look at it and claim those resources and be able to say, oh wait, I can be a generous human this way because that's what I have to give.

Alison: I may not have money to today, but I have [00:06:00] influence, I have friends, I have time. So just looking at that, so I work with all resource types and levels.

Maggie: So, Alison, when did you realize generosity needed a different approach in your own life?

Alison: Well, you know, it's interesting, I love this question because it really ties back to what we were just talking about because it's, it's about this constant evolution, right? And I've noticed how I've constantly evolved over time. And so. It wasn't sort of this one specific moment like, oh my gosh, now I'm, you know, I've arrived and now I'm gonna do this.

Alison: You know, because when I got outta college, generosity looked one way, right? And I had more time than money. And so then when I got married, right then it became a conversation and it became a we conversation and what does this look like with our family? And then [00:07:00] I started having children and it became a, oh, okay.

Alison: This is the conversation that we're having. And right now I am in a different phase of life, right? So I am in a sort of next chapter. And so by having the career that I have right now, this is just that next evolution of that, of that approach. And so what I think is that people don't give themselves permission or realize that they can continually redesign what generosity looks like over the course of their lifetime.

Alison: Right? And we can just be, as long as we look at what we have. Then we can begin to really use it in a way that supports the generous lifestyle that I know we want to lead.

Dr. Barb: I appreciate what you said because you know, right now, 2026, women are being careful with their money. You know, I mean, [00:08:00] prices have gone up, gas has gone up, and people still wanna give. But how can someone still be generous without, you know, hurting their own financial future?

Alison: I am struggling with this myself, so this is a question that I am totally digging into. I think there's some really sort of. Specific ways, if you will. You know, let's, let's just simply create a budget, right?

Alison: Like, let's create a line item budget with our money. And I don't care what that budget looks like, that budget might look like $10 a month. That's great. Right? I would love for folks to separate their, yes. From their should. Okay. Because there is a real difference there. I get it.

Alison: I think we all feel very financially vulnerable right now, and I think women are more susceptible to that. But we're also more financially capable and I like wanna [00:09:00] shine a light on that. And so honestly again, this is, this is all about me and my own curiosity, I have these conversations with my friends and we're all like, Ooh, we're gonna, when we retire, we're gonna create this little, you know, collaborative conclave.

Alison: Well, there's this woman in Comby, Texas, and she totally did that, and she took $150,000 out of retirement. She wasn't trying to be generous. She did not give this to a, a not-for-profit. She built a tiny home collaborative so that she could have income in her retirement.

Alison: Right. And what has grown is this sort of ecosystem for these women, and it's called the Burs Nest. I'm gonna put out a LinkedIn post on it on Thursday, because again, how do you answer those questions around what you already have in, in a time when we're feeling vulnerable and we don't wanna hurt our financial future.

Alison: We [00:10:00] wanna feel like we have enough. But it's about getting creative. How do we get creative? What are we thinking about? What's important to us? Well, maybe it is creating income for ourselves in whatever. And Oh, yeah, by the way. It's gonna circle around and it's gonna take care. These women pay $450 a month.

Alison: I think there's a 500 person waiting list for this, for this place, right? And so I'm like, how do I, how do I do that here in Kansas City? Like, this is my new passion. 

Dr. Barb: Well, what it tells me is it's not linear. It's not like, here's my money, I'm gonna put it in this bucket for the church or the non-for-profit or whatever. It's not just a linear transaction, it's really more holistic thinking about how you can leverage your money for others to grow. And, you know, I think about angel investing, leveraging your money so that other.

Dr. Barb: Women owned and women led organizations can fulfill a dream of yours that you may not be able to do on your own, but that you are part of [00:11:00] financing and helping and maybe reaping rewards that way.

Alison: Absolutely. And you're right, it's not linear. We don't have to look at it in this old fashioned. Kind of way. And that's what I love about, like, I think women are scrappy and I think that we solve problems differently.

Alison: And I think it can be a really great thing. So I am excited to see. the change that we're creating in the world, right? And hey, look, maybe something goes on, federal funding is being cut all over the place, right? Oh, okay. How do I step in, right? Like, what does that look like for me?

Alison: If domestic violence shelter is important to me, what does that look like? 

Maggie: So I know Alison, like when one time you led this activity for us kind of to figure out your values because, you know, I'm always like, I'd love to give to the food pantries. I also love the dogs. But now you see like, you know, all this funding being cut. So yeah, like, it's not like I don't care about domestic violence or, you [00:12:00] know, I wanna make sure the kids in the schools have like free lunches.

Maggie: And then it's like, okay, how do I do everything? Or I think one time you mentioned how if you focus on one thing, you know other people will focus on the others and then eventually all buckets will be filled. So can you talk a bit about how you help people find their values or find what they want to put their money towards and not feel like they're ditching the other things?

Alison: Yes. and really what I hope to do is like empower my clients with giving them that, that focus statement that, you and I created. And again, what I hope also to do is teach them how to do this because I talked about how we all evolve. So maybe you go through the process and it's a very simple process of we go through a value statement.

Alison: and it's really just sort of anchoring your mission statement, right? It's something that I try and tell people to just put in their back pockets, I believe, because I value these things. I'm going to [00:13:00] focus my efforts here and create a better world in my community or in the world in general. I guess a story around that is I made a donation

Alison: for my sister and a couple of years ago to an organization and they are doing super important work. but this was within my budget in this sort of yes. Category and I try and have people create like three different kinds of buckets for their giving, like this impact bucket, but then this sort of, I wanna say yes to the world and to my people. But they started calling me that's what a good development officer should be doing. They should be reaching back out. And they weren't asking me for a lot of money. And I mean, it got to a point where they were asking me for $10, you know, I took the call and $10 a month, could you just do $10 a month?

Alison: And that's $120 a year. And, and I thought about it and I was like, well. this [00:14:00] was a gift for my sister, right? And so I've already made that gift to her for this year. 

Alison: I have that foundation of the mission. I know how I'm doing it and I don't need to feel guilty about saying no because that strategy was my no. And I gave them that. No, and it was hard. It was like super uncomfortable because it wasn't, you know, $120 sometimes might not feel like a lot of money.

Alison: For some people it's a lot, but you know, maybe for me in that moment, it wasn't. But it was really important for me to say, I really love the work that you do, and I am so grateful that there are people like my sister who are passionate about this organization, but I have a plan and this doesn't fit today.

Dr. Barb: Perfect. Right. You know, and I feel that way sometimes when I'm shopping and they're like, do you wanna roll up for this or do you wanna roll up for that? And it might be 17 cents or whatever, but you know, typically, [00:15:00] yeah. But you know what the reality is, is. Wow. There are some places that I really do give to that are so super important to me because it's impacted my family or whatever.

Dr. Barb: That's where I really wanna put my money. But if everyone's asking you, every time you shop to tip, to roll up, to do this, to do that, you kind of feel, I don't know, run over. Like, you don't even wanna buy anything anymore because they're gonna ask for more money for this or that. it's exhausting.

Dr. Barb: Yeah.

Alison: it's, and, and that's really what I see most in, in anyone that I work at, with specifically women. But it's just that overwhelm. It's, it's the overwhelm from the world, it's the overwhelm from the asks. And so that's what I hope that I'm giving them is this is the structure to say, mm-hmm.No, And that's okay because I trust, just like, you know, Maggie, when you said, I trust that there's somebody out there who is so focused [00:16:00] on the environment that I'm gonna do my little steps along the way, but I know that they are out there right. You know, with their banners and giving those dollars and doing the things that I, I can't,

Alison: I.

Maggie: it is hard just 'cause you do wanna do it all and sometimes it's like, I know I have the 17 cents to give, but this isn't where I wanna do it. For me at the checkout it's a little easier 'cause like. I know the cashiers no buy-in, they're just doing their job, you know? But when people call you up on the phone, it is a bit harder.

Maggie: 'cause you're like, it's not like I don't care, but I do have a plan. And so this balance. So like what's a simple question women should ask before saying yes to giving.

Alison: I would just say, does this really align with what I've already decided matters most? So as you're standing there at the checkout counter for me, I was at Hy-Vee recently and they were giving to a food pantry, and I went, yeah. Food insecurity. Yeah. Okay. This matters most to me.

Alison: [00:17:00] But I was also at another type of shelter or business and it was a different kind of shelter. And I was like, no, it's fine. And so I think that that's really the basic question is does this align with what I've already decided is what most important to me? or am I doing this because I feel like I should.

Maggie: I would love to know Alison, like, did you. Was this like a big conversation in your house growing up? Like the importance of giving or tithing or like, I mean, 'cause I know like we all kind of feel like, yeah, we should probably donate. Yeah, we should probably do some time. But it seems like even from the story you said at the beginning, you know, you knew at the, like in college you had some time to give later, you had some money to give.

Maggie: Was this always something that you've, talked about and your parents instilled in you? Or like where does this drive of giving come from?

Alison: It is absolutely from my parents and the way that I was raised. And you know, I am from a very small town in southeastern Kentucky and it is [00:18:00] Appalachian, it is depressed mountain people, coal mine country, but it was this community that was created there and we. You know, people took care of one another in just those small kinds of ways.

Alison: And I can remember being at church and there were women who literally. Had you, you would bring food and then they would take food back into the mountains to people who don't come out. My mother was a Girl Scout leader, and so I was constantly being, you know, taken to elderly shelter there in town.

Alison: And so it was something that came up organically. I realized that not everyone is raised that way, but when I was trying to figure that out for myself, how do I take this? I know exactly why food insecurity is important to me. It comes from both of my parents. my father modeled the money part because he went to a very prestigious [00:19:00] university on a scholarship.

Alison: so he was always giving money to that organization for that scholarship. And, you know, my mother was over here modeling more of the time because that's the, the resource access that she had to, and so that's how I've kind of built that up for myself. And I do think that that's where this passion comes from in terms of my ability and, my dad was also an entrepreneur. So this business that I've built, right, like it's very entrepreneurial. There are not a lot of people out there doing what I do in the way that I do it. But I also have a very strong give back policy. So 10% of everything that I do goes to either the organization that I'm working with currently at the time, or it goes to the organization of the client that I'm working with.

Alison:  When I'm working with a not-for-profit, I have a very low threshold [00:20:00] of, you know what I charge, and then they get to take 10% of that and I give back. So I mean, it's a very aggressive give back policy, but that's how I have constructed the way I live my life, and it comes from those roots in Kentucky and you know how I was raised.

Maggie: Yeah, I love that. I figured there had to be a why there? 'cause I know, I mean, we would do like food pantries and feed my starving children and we always had like pads through school, you know? But yeah, I knew there had to be kind of a why behind that.

Alison: but I will tell you, you know, it's different because, you know, my kid didn't grow up in southeastern Kentucky, but that same process that we went through, you know, and created your why well, I went through that with her when she was 15 or 16. Because she had all these service hours she needed to do, right?

Alison: so I'm like, Hey, let's I, you know, if we're gonna do something, let's do something that you care [00:21:00] about. What do you care about? And how do we find that? And I have clients that I'm like, okay, we can totally do this with your eight and 9-year-old kids. we can adapt to that. Let's do it.

Dr. Barb: Wonderful.

Maggie: Yeah. And bringing in kids as young as they are. I mean, that's great. I know I did a lot of work at the food pantry and saw a lot of kids there, but there were some people who I met who are doing like community service hours for like, for punishment, you know? And they're like, wait, you're here by choice.

Maggie: And I was like. Yeah, actually I am, it's funny how like you're forced to be here. I chose to be here, but we're here, you know, still doing the same things. And so it's, it's just an interesting journey. But I think it is so important to bring 'em in, especially when you're young. I know we always did it around like holiday times, you know, like, yeah, we got all these gifts, but we gotta make sure, you know, our, our friends and our neighbors have that support as well.

Alison: it looks different in every family. That's what I think is so beautiful about it, because you don't have to have anything to give. Yeah, I love pinpointing it for families [00:22:00] and then having the opportunity to say, oh, well, this is really what that's looking like for you.

Maggie: So let's kind of get into the nitty gritty of like, how do you work with advisors and clients like. How do you make that partnership or how do people bring you in? What are kind of your service fees, all those different kind of things.

Alison: Yes. So I have two lanes. I work directly with clients and I am fee-based. So, so you come in and I try and figure out. Kind of where you are in the process and then I have different levels of Packages that we can create. So if, you know, if you're just looking to reorganize your drawers, we can, we can do that.

Alison: If you're looking at really sort of taking everything out of the drawers and reorganizing and giving, you know, and changing things around. I have a package for that. And then when I work alongside wealth advisors and wealth managements again, what I find is that attorneys [00:23:00] accountants, they have the financial tools but it's that sort of why, and many of them understand their client's values, but maybe it's not

Alison: a thing that they can really devote a lot of time to. So I come in and I much prefer to come in behind those advisors and alongside those advisors because I don't know your client. Best or most efficient way to give, but if I can talk to you as an advisor to say, Hey, this is what they're doing and this is what their dream is they can be the hero, right?

Alison: Like, they can be like, oh, you know, actually if we, you know, buy this insurance policy and do this and do that. Basically then they become the hero of the story because they just facilitated something that their client never dreamed imaginable. So I like [00:24:00] to work as a collaborative.

Dr. Barb: yeah. It's, I mean, like I said, it's not just one transaction. It's really a combination of getting the right experts in the room and sharing, you know, what's so important to you, and seeing how you can best leverage your investments in a way that you can make it happen.

Alison: Right.

Maggie: And I just know this is so important, especially to women. And so knowing how then you can have that advisor and figure out how to do it with the tax benefits or when you die, or, you know, like how it all different allocates And so, and it's just so interesting because I think a lot of us think, oh, well if I pass away then, you know, I'll do some to my kids and some to a charity.

Maggie: But we can still do a lot of this while we're alive too.

Alison: absolutely. And

Alison: for some people, even if it's anonymous, you get the joy of knowing. and I talk a lot about like your impact ruler, your measuring stick. I really try and dig in with folks around, okay, what does that impact look like to you? So, maybe it is giving after your life because [00:25:00] you have the ability to make a scholarship, right?

Alison: But really getting connected to that organization. Really helping them and stewarding that. Or maybe, you know, maybe you just wanna hand $20. I mean, I was recently at Target and there was a gentleman who. Walked up to me and he was like, Hey, I've got my whole family. It was like when it was like below zero or something.

Alison: It's like I've got my whole family in my car, I don't carry cash. And I said, okay, if you're here, when I come back and I was buying like $25 worth of organizing things and in our family part of our rule is. There's a budget for like these kinds of things. And so I bought a $25 gift card, and when I came out, I handed him the $25 gift card.

Alison: But then the rule is, in our family, when you do that. You share it around the dinner table and you say, Hey, this is something that I did today. This [00:26:00] is something that I was inspired by, and I just want you to know that I did it. So, you know, there's no like punishment. Within our family, this created, you know, this measuring stick of, oh, wow. I don't know what that gentleman used. I can, I can see his whole family in that car. I don't know what happened to that $25 and that's okay.

Dr. Barb: You give and you don't judge. Right. They buy whatever it is they need at the time.

Alison: Well, and for that particular dollar, that was the measuring stick. Now maybe if I'm giving to a particular initiative, I wanna know more. Right? Like, like I really wanna understand a little bit more about how this is changing our world. Okay. That's fair. But for $25, no.

Dr. Barb: Got it.

Maggie: I think that is something of interesting that I've really noticed as I've gotten older is like, you really have to look into the organizations that you're donating to and seeing how much money is really going to management and how much money is going to the cause because trust me, I get you gotta keep management to [00:27:00] keep it up and running.

Maggie: 95% should not be going back to management and 5% going to the cost, I don't think, it is interesting when you dive in some of these really big organizations that are household names, you're like, oh wow, actually, actually, that's not as as charitable as I thought it would be.

Maggie: And so it is interesting then diving into seeing how much are these organizations helping versus labeling.

Alison: Well, for me it's more about the you in that statement because the, you in that statement, that's your value. like that's what you value. If I were talking to someone else who said, oh. because this is a bigger organization, they can leverage the dollars that I'm giving in a different way and la la la Maybe that's their trigger.

Alison: I don't care. I think both is great. And I do think that it's important to ask the question because then you find out what it feels like for you.

Maggie: And so that's, that's what I heard in that answer from you, Maggie is like, oh, okay. This is what's important for Maggie.

Maggie: [00:28:00] Yeah,

Alison: that's that measuring stick.

Maggie: that's a good example. I like that.

Maggie: So Alison, there is a question we like to ask everybody on the podcast, curious now for you, especially 'cause you, you do so much in giving what does financial freedom mean to you?

Alison: I really had to think about that because I really feel like financial freedom gets defined very narrowly, and I get it, the basics matter, right? Like, I was really struggling and really sort of having this inner turmoil about enough and, you know, over my, you know, the course of my life, like what's enough and what's enough.

Alison: And I, I don't want to, to bring down the fact that, you know, knowing and understanding that my basic human needs are met and knowing that I have what I'm gonna need in the future. I want financial freedom not to be a destination.

Alison: I want it to be a path and a journey that grows along the way for me [00:29:00] and. I do want to have the freedom to be able to give and to be able to think of ways that I can change the world. But I don't want to have this narrow, sort of laying of, it can only be, you know, a big chunk of money.

Alison: Because again, I am. I am not kidding you. I am literally looking into how do I start this collective here in Kansas City and, I, for myself, want financial freedom to stop being something that I feel like I need to hoard and something that I can steward and something that breathes.

Dr. Barb: I love your answer.

Alison: All right. Thank you. Again, it took me, took me some time and I would just encourage any listener to really take some time with that question. And I know you do that, but I mean, kind of hear it and sometimes I'm sort of like, oh, yeah, okay. Yeah. Think of it like you were actually gonna be recorded on this podcast, 

Maggie: I like that it's

Alison: Yeah,

Maggie: and not just a, a [00:30:00] destination, you know? 'Cause it all ebbs, ebbs and flows with our life.

Maggie: Well, we thank you, Alison for all the good work that you're doing and sharing your expertise on the podcast with us. We'll have, you know, all your links in the show notes so people can reach out to you and see how they can maybe, you know, change or improve or, you know, hone in their, their giving plan.

Maggie: And so yeah, we thank you for sharing your expertise and we hope to talk to you guys all soon. So until then, be financially fearless.

Outro: You've been listening to Women Money, the shit we don't talk about. Now it's time to take what you've learned and make bold moves towards financial independence. Stay in the know by joining our newsletter for exclusive tools, resources, and updates that keep you financially fearless. Head to PurseStrings. co and sign up today. Need a financial professional who gets it? Turn to PurseStrings Curated Directory, your go to resource for financial experts who know how to put you first. Love this episode? Leave us a review and help us empower even more women to own their financial [00:31:00] power. Until next time, be financially fearless.